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I lifted my long sleeves, casually swept the stones behind me and sat down. The sun has set. Cangjia Mountain’s sunset is the most beautiful in the six realms. I think that this is the last time, I’ll see this crimson red sunset. A bit later, Nan Zhi will come pick me up. We will go to the peak of Cangjia Mountain to meet this yin month.

Nan Zhi is the man I love deeply. Once he was a deity, now he is a devil. Once, he had slept for ten thousand years. It was me who woke him up. I’m a three hundred ninety-seventh generation disciple of Cangjia sect. Getting rid of devils is my duty. But after I woke him up, I fell in love with him.

He liked to dress in black. He liked to let his cold finger slid against my eyes. He liked to grab my wrist, let me stand behind him to protect me and then turned back to smile at me gently.

Because I and the woman he loves looks exactly the same.

Tonight, is the full moon. The yin energy will overcast the month. It’s the best time to call back a soul.

Once on Cangjia Mountain there were my master, my seniors and juniors. Now I step on their flesh while my hands brush their blood. Step by step, I climbed to the top of the mountain. Soon I’ll be going to accompany them. The man I love will soon drain out my blood, tear my soul and drive me out of this body.

Because I and the woman he loves looks exactly the same.

That woman’s name is Chen Xi. He said I’m naughty like her and as unruly as her. He said, like her I like to cause trouble and like crying. He said I smile exactly like her. When I smile, there are two sweet dimples on my cheeks.

However, she is Chen Xi and I’m Ling Xi.

The same name, but different surnames.

He said I stole her name and took her body. Only if I’m driven out will she come back to his side.

Ten thousand years ago, when she saved him, her soul almost dispersed and scattered into pieces. He slept for ten thousand years in exchange for her three immortal parts to stay with pressure at the Eastern Sea. Ten thousand years later, I woke him up. I didn’t tell him that because of this, master had scattered four of my seven mortal parts. Tonight, he wants to disperse my three remaining immortal and mortal parts.

  • 魂(Hun) – spiritual, ethereal soul, yang energy – also known as “Cloud Soul”. Responsible for all formless consciousness, including the three treasures: 精(Jing), 气(Qi), 神(Shen).
  • 魄(Po) – substantive, corporeal soul, yin energy – also known as ” White Soul”. Responsible for all tangible consciousness, including the seven apertures: two eyes, two ears, two nose holes, mouth.

In the Chinese Taoism, a person’s soul consists of three hun and seven po. Hun= immortal parts. Po= mortal parts.

Since then, in the heaven and earth, the blue sky and hell, Ling Xi will no longer exists.

I stood at the top of Cangjia Mountain. The wind blew very hard.

Approximately at the change of the day to night, I sensed his aura not far in front of me.

I seemed to be able to see his neat sleeves and flying black hair. Slowly he got closer to me. I was barely able to see the coldness in the depth of his eyes.

After the four mortal parts were scattered, my body began to weaken. My eyes could only see a slight touch of light. For example, the crimson of the sunset. For example, the silver coldness in his eyes.

Not only my body, my mind also began to become blurry. I know that master was afraid that I’ll fall in love with him. That’s why he scattered my four mortal parts. But I still fell in love with him. Even in my fuzzy memories, everywhere was his shadow.

In fact, besides him there’s another person’s shadow: Chen Xi.

I’ve seen her at the bottom of the Eastern Sea.

“Nan Zhi…,” I called him softly. My voice was unable to suppress the trembling.

His aura began to float. Unknown emotions hid in the air. My heart trembled. Ever since I have met him, I’ve never seen his mood swing so obviously. Perhaps, he will also miss me?

“Want to beg for mercy?”

Nan Zhi’s light voice sounded in my ears like that year when I first met him. He looked ignorant and asked me coldly then: “Who are you?”

“Today, you must die.”

He was still with not much emotions, telling the fact I’ve long accepted.

I lost my smile. I only wanted to tell him that I saw Chen Xi at the bottom of the Eastern Sea. I wanted to tell him that Chen Xi no longer remembers him.

Thinking about it now, what does it matter if I tell him?

Even if she has forgotten him, he still loves her. Even if I’ve branded him at the bottom of my heart, he will not love me.

A burst of tingling on my forehead. The smell of blood entered my nose. I seemed to see a ground full of blood. I looked and seemed to faintly see the withered trees on Cangjia Mountain come back alive. They grew. Flowers were in full bloom and laughed enchanting in the night.

I know that blood was falling from my forehead and couldn’t be stopped. All the devils had gathered at Cangjia Mountain. While draining my blood, my immortal and mortal parts were being torn. Until my blood is dried up. Until my spiritual power is depleted. Until I turn into ashes.

Black aura pressured from the top to the bottom and then spread in all directions.

The deity’s shape is broken.

I saw my soul became pieces and sprinkled all over the place.

Inside this piece, I took a book and clumsily taught him magic. In this piece, he rescued me from the sharp sword of big senior sister. In that piece, I took him to play at Cangjia Mountain. In that piece, he carried me on his back across the Eastern Sea. In all pieces where my and his shadow.

In my eyes, he is Nan Zhi. But in his eyes, I’m not Ling Xi.

Because I and the woman he loves looks exactly the same.

The woman he loves isn’t called Ling Xi but Chen Xi.

The pieces suddenly broke into powder and like stars, they fell down.

My eyes hurt and were wet. The only remaining drop of blood turned into salty tear and fell down. Then my mind gradually turned blank. It was so painful I wanted to shout out loudly. Not a trace of sound came out of my suppressed throat. From that vaguely moment a familiar voice spit out one “xi” word.

Chen Xi? Ling Xi?

Ling Xi is Ling Xi. Ling Xi is not Chen Xi.

From the beginning to the end, I am not that woman who spend three lifetimes with him and is deeply rooted in his bones. The one he wanted had never been me.

The last part of the soul was driven out. My consciousness gradually went away. A voice quietly asked.

Do……you still want to see him?

No. Never again for all eternity.

TLNote: this is a book I just finished listening. I couldn’t let it pass to translate a chapter. This book was amazing. It’s a short book of 47 chapters with three epilogues. The synopsis is on shushengbar which also has links to the ebook and audio.

After seven lifetimes, I haven’t read or listen to a xianxia story. I have missed so much. This book was recommended to me because I like the male voice. It’s a book I may listen again just for the voices. I tried to search for summaries, synopsis of this book, but there wasn’t much, so I decided to translate the prologue as an hour of taking a breath from studying. Hope you enjoy this as much as I do. Rating: 5/5

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