“Ha, alright,” I said laughingly. “I will wait for you.” I reached out, “If gentleman says it…”
“It shall be done as if spurring a fast horse with a single whip…”
There wasn’t the sound of hands bumping against each other. His thin hand moved a bit in the air. Then, it fell powerless into my palm.
Fan Zilan looked smilingly at me. “You’re so heartless, Shuang Shuang.”
I touched my nose. This wasn’t the first time I heard this.
“You left the child and run away. You left us two for more than forty years. Did you remember now to come back?”
It indeed seemed a bit unjustifiable. But, it was not my fault that I didn’t have a heart. I was in the right and self-confident. However, I thought about it for a moment and said, “If I had a heart, Fan Zilan, I will certainly fall in love with you. Really.”
Knowing each other for a long time, Fan Zilan suddenly laughed. He laughed so brightly, making me think about that glowing with health and vigour young man of many years ago.
He held my hands tightly and said with a gentle voice, “Shuang Shuang, who said you don’t have a heart?”
In that cold and windy afternoon, Fan Zilan closed his eyes. There was still a smile on his face. The last sentence he said still rung in my ears, “I’ve long given you my heart.”
That residence had long changed name a few hundred years ago. Now, it was called Wen residence. I heard that the highest ranked at the imperial examination of this year had the surname Wen and called Wen Riu. He was a talented young man. He was truly an attractive young man.
I leant against the window of the study and quietly looked at him write things. I didn’t know what kind of messy essay he was writing. In any case, I didn’t understand it.
“Hey…,” I said suddenly. “Do you know how to paint?”
He was startled. He raised his head and looked at me in the eye for a moment. Suddenly, he put down the brush and stumbled backwards. He shouted frightened, “People, come, come. Demon, demon who eats people.”
Ay, they were both the highest ranked at the imperial examination; why was he so senseless? I pouted and left quietly.
The bamboo forest behind me swayed in the wind of the night. The bamboo was the still the same bamboo. The people however…
The god of dreams asked me, “Are you still looking for him?”
I said, “Who is looking for him? I just went to take a look at the highest ranked at the imperial examination. It’s one attractive young man again.”
The god of dreams sighed, “Why bother? You obviously know that when humans die it would be like when lights go off.”
Naturally, I know. It was just, I didn’t know why I couldn’t help myself from going take a look.
It had been a long time since I hadn’t moved (homes). Those around me got old or passed away. I still remained young like always. Sometimes when I smell the flavour of pine flower cake, I would think of him. He would sneak into my quilt and laughed mischievously, “Then, come eat me. I’m very tasty.”
He kissed the back of my neck. “Why don’t you marry me?”
He peacefully grabbed my hand, “In the next life, I want to be a fox and stay by your side forever.”
The young him looked at me laughingly, “You have to know that in this world there’s no one as strange as me.”
That was right. I went to everywhere and survived many dynasties, but I couldn’t find someone as strange as you. Do you know, Fan Zilan? The day that you passed away, I told you a white lie. In fact, humans don’t have a next life. However, I keep believing foolishly that we will meet once again. If such a day will come, I will definitely not abandon you again. I will use all my strength to love you. Just like, how you had loved me. I’m willing to believe that there would be such a day. The heavens would give us a miracle. Even if it was only for my extremely rare fox’s heart.
TLNote: This is the end. Thank you for reading this short story. After I listened to this book, I concluded that sometimes I must be more decisive and do the things I want to do. Otherwise, I may feel regret like Shuang Shuang and never recover from it.
My next book is another short story called Red String. It will be posted in a few days.