living up to you

Living up to you Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Ling Xi had never thought that after her soul had been dispersed and scattered, she would still have consciousness.

She woke with in a part of this world. Her body felt light and her head was clear. She could see clearly, hear clearly and could feel this world.

Ever since one of her immortal part and four of her mortal parts had been taken out of her, she had never felt so light.

She…is still alive?

No, she couldn’t see herself. She didn’t have hands and feet that she could use. She was only a ray of a residual soul. She still kept her consciousness, could see, could hear and could move, but she couldn’t speak.

She guessed that she might have turned into a cloud-like existence like Chen Xi.

However, that was not the case.

She found that she was at a junction between two worlds. The left side was dark and without light. Nothing could be seen. The right side was bright like stars and round like the moon.

The bronze colored moon and the clear moonlight were so familiar. Time had never seemed to have passed, even if she felt that ten thousand years had gone by.

She hesitated whether to go left or right. In the end, she flew in the bright direction.

For such a long period of time, she lived in the dark and constantly worried about that one day it would be all dark with no daylight.

She yearned for light and longed for warmth.

Therefore, she found out that it was a mirror that separated the two world and the mirror looked quite familiar. She looked closely. It was actually the silver mirror. She looked again. There was no shadow of herself inside the mirror, not even a ray of white smoke.

Only now did Ling Xi realize that she was just a touch of a spiritual consciousness. She wasn’t an immortal part and wasn’t a mortal part. So, she could freely enter and exit the silver mirror.

And the next moment, she also understood that not only could she see, hear and feel the cold, she could also feel pain.

The most spiritual place was Cangjia Mountain. The darkest (yin) place was Cangjia Mountain. This night was like the purgatory on earth.

River of blood, mountains of skeletons.

  • Rivers of blood: bloodbath

She had never seen such a dazzling Cangjia Mountain. Bones with skin were dyed with blood. Among the seven major peaks, only the main peak still had liveliness.

The black clothes of that person seemed like hair growing endlessly. There were no limits to the ostentatious display. Devilish aura swallowed his whole face. The black eyes were sharp weapons by themselves. Wherever he looked at, the grass turned to ashes. Cangjia’s disciples retreated three steps without exception.

Cangjia Mountain had never been so cold. If it rained now, surely it would be snowflakes that would fall down. And, the cold source was that man full of devilish aura.

It happened that his face was now white as jade and it was perfect like a god’s. There was not even a drop of blood stain on his black clothes. He approached step by step and easily killed a Cangjia disciple.

One more, one more and one more.

It was as easy as trampling on an ant. So, without hesitation. So cold-hearted.

She was obviously just a vain spiritual consciousness. She obviously doesn’t have a heart, but when she watched that man produce clouds with one hand and rain with another and seeing Cangjia’s disciples fell down one after another, she seemed to be crushed by a magnificent army of thousand men and horses at the same time. Densely packed pain penetrated the heart and pierced the bones.

  • Produce clouds with one hand and rain with another: to do as one likes

Nan Zhi, stop!

She floated to his hand and tried to stop his hand that was casting spells non-stop, but she couldn’t even touch his fingers.

“Devil! My Cangjia helped you. You return kindness with ingratitude and massacred my whole sect! I will kill you!”

Cang Yu, Cang Hai, Qing Lian and Qing Nian attacked him at the same time. He only dodged and didn’t counterattack. He only attacked the ordinary disciples, killing them with one blow.

While Cang Hai kept on attacking, he cursed. Cang Yu was a lot calmer, but his face was dark and showed great changes. Qing Lian and Qing Nian’s eyes were bloodshot from fury, but no matter how powerful or lethal the spells were, they were easily dodged or swallowed by the black enchantment of that person.

Nan Zhi was like a god of war from heaven and looked disdainfully at them. A devilish cloak draped over his shoulders. To let them live or die was just a turn of his hand.

“Ling Xi is already dead. What more do you want?!” Qing Lian’s light blue clothes were covered in blood and her pale face was full of tears.

Nan Zhi didn’t have an expression. The blood red lips suddenly arced into a smile. The devilish unrestricted smile was like a blood red flower blooming in the night. The cold voice that seemed to have come from hell said, “Die with her…”

  • He used 陪葬 (pei zhang) that has “burry with…” as translation, but that is not what it means here. 陪葬 is a form of revenge when a loved one is killed by someone. Here the meaning is like “you killed her; I will let the world go down with her”. He used 陪葬 due to them causing LX’s death, they have to pay with their lives. In the next chapter (special chapter 1: The sorrow of the Eastern Sea) this will be explained.

Ling Xi stopped the vain “blocking”. When she heard these three words, she felt that all her thoughts exploded.

Die with her…

Die with her?

The recall of the soul was unsuccessful. Chen Xi hadn’t returned. So, after driving her out that body, her whole sect has to die with her (CX)?

Ling Xi rushed almost on the verge of collapsing to Nan Zhi and wanted to stop his hand that was attacking Qing Lian. But his hand passed through her and strangled Qing Lian’s neck effortlessly.

“Let her go!”

Qing Nian and Cang Hai roared and attacked. The other hand of Nan Zhi pushed out a black wave and counterattacked the two, causing them to fall on the ground. Then, he raised the corners of his lips and he eagle-like eyes found the direction of Xue Ran. A black haze popped out between his fingers.

Xue Ran had nowhere to dodge. Horror didn’t even have time to appear on her pale face when she turned into black air and dissipated between the sky and earth.

Qing Nian’s eyes were bloodshot and almost shed tears of blood. He cried, “Big sister.” He threw himself over, but it was just a burst of air.

“I will kill you!”

Qing Nian summoned all his spiritual power. His whole body seemed to be burning and he gave his last blow aimed at Nan Zhi. Nan Zhi didn’t dodge, stared at him (QN) and the corners of his mouth raised into a sneer. Suddenly, he threw Qing Lian over.

Ling Xi heard herself shout in her heart and then cried.

Qing Lian suffered a blow from Qing Nian. Like a withered lotus flower, she fell on the ground and became a pool of water. The moist object didn’t utter a sound. Qing Nian froze on spot and fell on the ground as if his soul has left him.

Cang Hai had always liked Qing Lian the most. At this moment, he was like a mad leopard with bloodshot eyes. He rushed over to Nan Zhi as if he wanted to tear Nan Zhi to shreds.

Ling Xi remembered that Cang Yu once told her that Nan Zhi was once a god.

From god, he had degenerated to a devil. If he was willing, he could destroy all living beings with a turn of his hands.

It was only now that Ling Xi understood what kind of terrifying power that was.

The immortal family with not shallow cultivation was no different from ants in his eyes. It was only the difference between disposing them with one finger or with five fingers.

When Cang Hai fell to the ground, his black beard turned white. His widened eyes protruded as if he was staring at Ling Xi and mocking her for truly being a demoness to be able to raise such a devil.

Ling Xi looked at all of this. She had forgotten pain, forgotten crying and shouting.

She just watched all of this.

In the dark world, withered bones piled up overnight at Cangjia Mountain and the corpses were everywhere.

Cang Yu closed his eyes tightly. Tears fell down silently. The wrinkles on the aged face suddenly extended all the way across like a deep ravines and folded this whole face.

Fluorescent lights were twirled around the Qingxu staff. Suddenly, they enlarged and formed an aperture, wrapping around him. He softly chanted an incantation. The aperture broke down again into light spots and disappeared.

What disappeared with them was his body.

He sighed softly, “If you want my life, I will give it to you. However, Cangjia is already dead. I have no face to see my ancestors.”

Cang Yu self-destructed himself and scattered his own essence of life. Qingxu staff fell on the ground with a tinkling sound.

The few remaining Cangjia’s disciples were stunned. The sword in their hands fell down one after another. Some of them fell on the ground like Qing Nian.

Nan Zhi’s expression remained unchanged. His movements were like the wind. He grabbed a disciple and asked, “Where is Qing Kui?”

That disciple shook his head blankly. He used some force in his hand. That disciple turned into ashes.

He grabbed another one, “Where is Qing Kui?”

That disciple answered, “Don’t know.”

Another ash.

There were no more than dozens of disciples remaining. Everyone’s answer was, “Don’t know.”

In a moment, only Qing Nian remained in such a big Cangjia Mountain.

“Where is Qing Kui?” He asked.

“Don’t know,” he said.

“Where is the silver mirror?”

“Don’t know.”

When Qing Nian died, the clear water-like eyes were like broken eyes on the surface of the sea. They spread and drifted away.

Ling Xi’s heart was numb and looked woodenly at the defeated Cangjia Mountain. Dead bodies filled the eyes. There was not an ounce of life.

Why?

Ling Xi floated in front of Nan Zhi, even though he couldn’t see her.

Why?

He had promised her that he wouldn’t hurt Cangjia Mountain no matter what.

The word “alright” still rang in her ears.

It was impossible for Nan Zhi to answer her question. He turned around and went to the main peak Tianmai Peak.

In this dense mound of dead, it was very easy to find the remaining living souls no matter how good he concealed his aura.

So, Nan Zhi found Qing Kui very easily in a sea of lotuses.

The sea of lotuses bloomed recklessly. There was a faint floral fragrance. Tonight, it was stained with the smell of blood. Qing Kui was in the sea of flowers. His blue clothes were spotless and his long hair covered half of his face and also his expression. He was sitting on the ground, facing the sea of flowers and held Ling Xi’s body as if he was holding a treasure.

When Ling Xi saw herself, the cross wound on her forehead hasn’t healed, the blood had dried and her face was white like paper. Even though the body has lost its soul, the brows were still slightly frowned as if she wanted to cry.

“Give her to me.” Nan Zhi landed not far away and stared at the corpse with no luster in his eyes.

Qing Kui didn’t seem to have heard him. He only hugged Ling Xi and said softly, “Ah Chou, the sea of lotuses has bloomed. Get up and look at the flowers.”

Ling Xi’s numb heart began to feel pain again.

That kind of pain made her seem like she was still a complete person to the extent that following the pain, the despair and pain came at her making her unable to avoid them.

He had killed her, killed master, killed junior uncle, killed the disciples of Cangjia. He was also going to kill Qing Kui.

Senior brother Qing Kui, she had once vowed in front of him to not live under the same sky as the devil clan.

But she had violated her oath. For her selfish desire, she caused Cangjia to have this fate. Was this her punishment for breaking the oath?

“Nan Zhi…” Ling Xi wished so much that she could speak, could have a voice and beg him, “Don’t hurt senior brother Qing Kui, alright? Let him go, alright? He treated me so well…”

He practiced swordsmanship with her and teased her to make her happy. Ever since her head became normal, he had always been by her side.

He was the only remaining family she had in this world.

“I beg you, I beg you….” Ling Xi floated helplessly in front of Nan Zhi. She tried to cry and shout with all her strength, but she could only watch in vain how Nan Zhi approached Qing Kui step by step.

Qing Kui didn’t seem to intend to put up a resistance. He hugged the corpse tightly and tremblingly touched Ling Xi’s face.

Nan Zhi frowned.

Before Qing Kui’s hand touched Ling Xi’s face, black fog wrapped around him.

He maintained the posture of holding Ling Xi. His hand was still stiff in the air. There seemed to be tears in his eyes that had yet to fall. His whole body dissipated like smoke.

Ling Xi’s body fell on the ground and lay among the flourishing flowers as if she was in a deep sleep.

The starry sky was quiet and desolate. The silver moon moved back and fro. The flourishing flowers seemed to be bright.

The man in black picked up the woman among the flowers. He stepped on skeletons and tread over the blood as he flew away.

Ling Xi floated blankly in the sky. She refused to go look and to go think. She just told herself that this was a dream, an illusion and that it didn’t happen in reality.

In the real world, Cangjia Mountain still existed vigorously. Senior brothers, senior sister and Cangjia’s disciples were still living happily and in peace. This is an illusion. It must be.

She began to escape, escape to the place where she originally came from. She should’ve stayed obediently in the silver mirror. Perhaps, the other dark world was the real one.

She curled up in the dark and hid in the silver mirror. She couldn’t cry, couldn’t bleed, but she could feel pain.

The eight years at Cangjia appeared in front of her eyes. Everyone’s face was so clear. Their smiles were bright and kind.

But now, as soon as she opened her eyes, she would see the side of the silver mirror where the skeletons had become a mountain. Perhaps, she would be able to see people come collect their corpses the next day and discuss how Cangjia Mountain had been exterminated overnight.

The man she loves, for a body, he torn her soul and massacred her sect.

Why did she still have a spiritual consciousness?

Why did she see all of that with her own eyes?

Why was everyone gone, but she was still here?

The darkness was like an impervious copper wall and closed the whole world. Ling Xi heard a voice. When she was on the verge of despair that voice asked, “Do…you want them to come back?”

Ling Xi saw her tears. They were like a heavy rain in the summer. She said, “Want.”

“Give me your conscience and do one thing for me. Then…it would be as you wished for.”

“Okay.”

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Dreamer

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  • I hope there is a real serious reason why Nan Zhi has killed everyone. Even if some disciple caused in some way Ling Xi's death, he shouldn't kill indiscriminately. Now that we are at the end, I can say that I don't like them as couple, they have never talked or explained their actions. I also didn't connect to any character probably because the novel is too short and it doesn't have the time to build the story more

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