living up to you

Living up to you Special Chapter 1

Special Chapter 1 The Sorrow of the Eastern Sea

I pecked Shiying’s precious leaves and awakened him from a deep sleep. Then, I pointed at the man and woman snuggling at the Eastern Sea.

As a bird that had gained awareness for less than a year by relying on the spiritual energy of the heaven and earth, I still couldn’t speak, but Shiying could understand me.

They had been there for seven days and nights.

Shiying was a tree at the Eastern Sea. He couldn’t speak. I’ve known him for only a few months, but we had a tacit understanding and understood each other quite well.

“Aiyaya, has it been seven days?! If Nan Zhi continues to not move, would he turn into a stone statue?” Shiying exclaimed.

I sighed and whispered, “A tragedy, a tragedy. It is really a tragedy.”

“Hurry, go see whether Ling Xi truly stopped breathing,” Shiying suddenly said.

I ignored him. I saw it with my own eyes, could I be wrong? Moreover, I don’t dare to go. I will be killed by Nan Zhi!

“Hey, heaven will become aged as well if heaven has feelings,” Shiying sighed again.

  • Heaven will become aged as well if heaven has feelings: things are sad and bleak and there is no justice in the world.

I also couldn’t help but sigh to express that I agree.

The story of Nan Zhi and Ling Xi should be told from a year ago.

First of all, I need to thank Ling Xi. If it weren’t for her, I would still be a silly bird that only knew how to catch worms and sing and wouldn’t know what spiritual intellect was.

After all, I was born in the most northern city. Most of the year, it was winter. Not to mention the spiritual aura of heaven and earth, usually there is not even a little bit more of living auras.

When my spiritual intellect got awakened, I was in Ling Xi’s courtyard.

The yard was full of flowers and was very beautiful when they bloomed. I often pecked some worms to eat in the flower garden. Now that I think about it, I don’t know how many flowers and worms had become spirits like me in that yard.

Because the man living in the yard, in order to let that woman named Ling Xi be protected by spiritual energy and wanted to protect her all the time, the whole house and the front and back yard were covered with spiritual energy.

After a long time, I got to know that that man was devil king Nan Zhi. However, to protect her, the spiritual energy released wasn’t mixed with even a bit of devilish energy.

The two were very loving and sweet and made me very envious. Every day, I would sing a few songs for them in the yard.

But at that time, I didn’t understand why Ling Xi needed the protection of spiritual energy the whole day.

It wasn’t until a few months later when I saw that her gaze was sometimes blank and her ears didn’t seem to be so nimble that I began to understand. I also don’t remember the exact day, when I saw that man went out, I fluttered my wings and followed.

  • So, Nan Zhi knew about her loss of her five senses and used spiritual energy to protect her. This spiritual energy caused some of the other living beings gain spiritual intellect.

At that time, I didn’t know that he was devil king Nan Zhi. I had to use much energy to be able to follow him. I also didn’t know that the place he went to was called Cangjia Mountain by the world. The person he went to see was Cangjia Mountain’s supremo…Cang Yu.

Now that I think about it, the wind of that night was particularly cold. I have thick feathers, but still couldn’t help but shiver.

Nan Zhi entered a side hall and I landed on the window lattice of that side hall. Although, I couldn’t see inside the hall, but I could hear what was happening.

I only heard Nan Zhi’s cold voice that didn’t have the gentleness of when he talked to the woman. He said, “Return Ling Xi’s one immortal part and four mortal parts to me.”

The slightly cold voice coughed twice before saying, “Even if you take them back, it would be useless.”

My bird feathers stood up because of the sudden cold in the hall and I almost fell off the window.

I heard that old voice continued, “Those parts merged bit by bit these year with her other parts. The sudden withdrawal of that day had harmed the fundament. Even if you put them back, it would be no different from using your spiritual energy to support her. Perhaps, it wouldn’t take even till the day the spiritual energy is exhausted before she passes away.

As a bird, my senses were more sensitive than humans. I noticed the slight sorrow that overflowed from the room. I didn’t know from which one of the two it came from. A fragrance of wine also got stronger.

“Actually, it’s not like there is no other way to save Ling Xi.”

“Speak.”

I couldn’t help to prick up my ears and listen carefully.

“Actually…have you ever thought that Chen Xi and Ling Xi are the same person?”

After a long silence the voice of the old man continued, “Chen Xi was pressed at the bottom of the Eastern Sea with only an immortal part while Ling Xi was born with only two immortal parts and three mortal parts and she looked exactly like Chen Xi. Could there be such coincidence in the world? It will make sense if they were the same person. You only need to find the immortal part of Chen Xi and call back the four mortal parts. Then, you can let Ling Xi’s soul return to its original place and will no longer have to worry about her life.”

  • A person has three immortal parts and seven mortal parts.

I was a bit confused and didn’t know who this Chen Xi was. I only heard Nan Zhi said coldly and flatly, “Impossible.”

That old man said, “You have become a god after having just cultivated into an immortal for hundred years. You sealed the god realm with your strength alone. You slept for ten thousand years, but was able to possess a Chinese rose. In this world…what is there that is impossible?”

The devil king Nan Zhi I know had always been someone of few words. Now, it was the same.

The old man continued, “If this speculation is the truth, then there is still hope for Ling Xi. Otherwise…if you don’t believe it, you can also try to take the cultivation in my body and give it to Ling Xi.”

I was speechless inwardly. If this cultivation was useful, with the protection of the spiritual energy over the whole yard, how could Ling Xi still lose her five senses?

Sure enough, Nan Zhi also thought the same. After another silence, he came out.

I originally wanted to follow him, but I used too much strength when coming here and now my pair of wings wouldn’t move. Therefore, I heard the following conversation.

“Senior brother, why did you lie to him?” This voice was clearer in comparison, but the moment he spoke, my head spun because of the strong wine fragrance. “Ling Xi obviously only has one lifetime. How could she be Chen Xi? Moreover, senior brother, where did you get to know about these things? I have never heard the name “Chen Xi” before.”

I was shocked. That old man was lying just now.

“You don’t have to worry about this matter,” The old man said.

“But, if he finds out…”

“Ling Xi’s soul has been damaged. Her fate couldn’t be seen (from the soul).”

Truly a rigorous scheme and deep foresight!

I was very embittered, but helplessly I couldn’t speak. I could only flap my wings and return to the northern city.

When I returned to the courtyard, Ling Xi was asleep. Nan Zhi was painting in the study.

The woman he painted was exactly the same as the other painting on the side. I stood on the window frame and chirped while I admired Nan Zhi’s painting skills. At the same time, I discovered that on the new painting, a jacaranda appeared in the hair of the woman.

I couldn’t think about a reason why. I only saw Nan Zhi carefully compare the two paintings. In the end, he put the new painting into the painting tube and he carefully folded the original one and inserted it in the clothes on his chest.

  • Hence, why when Ling Xi looked at the eighteen-year-old her in the painting, there was a jacaranda in her hair. She thought that that was the original painting and that Nan Zhi added the jacaranda. She didn’t know that the original painting had been with Nan Zhi and that that one was a newly painted one.

Later I thought, maybe one of the women in the painting was Ling Xi and the other one was Chen Xi?

Of course, I could neither ask nor get an answer. I only secretly rejoiced that Nan Zhi didn’t seem to believe the old man entirely. Often, he took the advantage of when Ling Xi was asleep to read all kinds of ancient books. I guess that he must be looking for other ways to mend a soul.

Unfortunately, Ling Xi’s blindness got longer and longer and her deafness was becoming more and more frequent. I, as a bird was very anxious. I could only sing a few good songs in front of her house for her every day.

I got spiritual intellect because of them and had followed them silently for a few months. Furthermore, I knew about that ill-intended lie and couldn’t speak out my suffering. When they went to the Eastern Sea, I naturally followed them.

From this, I got to know Shiying.

The following months, I often sat on Shiying and watched that man and woman together with him.

Seeing Ling Xi go to sleep, Shiying shouted, “It’s over. It’s over. She’s sleeping again! Don’t know when she would wake up this time!”

Seeing Ling Xi’s foggy eyes, Shiying shouted again, “Aiyaya, what to do if one day she completely couldn’t see?”

I often exclaimed with him. When Ling Xi couldn’t hear, I would cry out, “She can’t hear again! Just let me transform into a woman and comfort Nan Zhi!”

Usually, Shiying would pull me down with a branch.

Of course, we often see the two of them play at the beach and embracing each other. Then, we will cry, “The so-called envy the happiness of a pair of mandarin ducks rather than the immortal celestial being must be nothing more than this!”

  • Envy the happiness of a pair of mandarin ducks rather than the immortal celestial: nothing can be better than being together with one’s love.

Occasionally, there would also be times when I and Shiying were silent.

The Ling Xi at the northern city talked non-stop, causing me to suspect that she was the same kind as I. Nan Zhi didn’t talk much. At the Eastern Sea, Ling Xi didn’t like to talk. Instead, Nan Zhi began to talk more.

When the sun was setting, he often embraced Ling Xi who was sleeping in his arms and caressed her hair very gently. He said, “How great will it be if you were Chen Xi. Then, I will never lose you again. What to do if you are not Chen Xi? What can I do to lock you at my side for all eternity?”

He said, “In front of you, I’m actually such a coward who doesn’t dare to take one wrong step.”

He said, “I didn’t dare to look at your foggy eyes, afraid that I won’t be able to find luster in them. I didn’t dare to use the recalling soul spell for fear that you will never come back.”

He pulled her deeper in his arms. The sunset stretched out the shadow of his back. It looked thin and lonely.

I and Shiying were two spirits whose combined age didn’t even reach ten, but we were like troubled young girls looking at the sky every day and praying to the gods to protect this couple of lovebirds to have a good life in this lifetime.

However, the heaven sinned. It was merciless when separating this couple of lovebirds.

Just in the recent summer night, I realized this very deeply.

That night, there were thunder, lightening and heavy rain.

When Nan Zhi returned, Ling Xi was sniffing flowers in the yard.

Her eyes were empty, but there was a smile on her mouth. She sniffed those flowers as if she could really smell their fragrance. The heavy rain fell on her, soaking her black hair. Following her fingers, the small stream of water poured on the flowers. A silver-white electric light flashed with the thunder, illuminating her weak body and pale smiling face.

She lived in her own world. Perhaps, there was no rain and there was only the fragrance of flowers in that world.

We heard Nan Zhi call her, “Ling Xi…”

One after another, the voice got heavier with each call. She didn’t realize it. She still played with the flowers, touched and sniffed each one.

We saw Nan Zhi stood in the heavy rain. His black clothes blended in the night, but we could see that his usual firm shoulders were slightly shaking.

The heaven was crying; he was also crying.

I and Shiying didn’t speak for the whole night.

The next day, Nan Zhi and Ling Xi left and went into the direction of Cangjia Mountain.

I thought, in the end, he chose to believe that lie.

The fifteenth of July, that is, seven days ago. I went to Cangjia Mountain under the encouragement of Shiying.

The full moon was like a silver plate. The violent was like a knife. Cangjia’s disciples constantly attacked the barrier. I flapped my wings and saw that Nan Zhi’s sword was pointing at the space between Ling Xi’s brows inside the barrier.

“Nan Zhi…”

Despite the constant wind in my ears and the sound of the barrier being attacked, I still could hear Ling Xi call him clearly. Her voice was full of sorrow and despair.

The veins could be seen in Nan Zhi’s hand that was holding the sword. The tip of the sword was shaking slight. He said, “Ling Xi, you must come back.”

Then, the tip of the sword pierced the space between her eyebrows.

I perched on a tree and covered my eyes with my wings.

Two people who loved each other so much, how could I have the heart to watch them facing each other with a sword?

Although, I knew that this story would end in a tragedy, I couldn’t help but look at the sky, at the scattered soul of Ling Xi. At that time, I was still young and still had hope in my heart. Perhaps…Ling Xi is truly Chen Xi?

Unfortunately, if the heaven has feelings, it will become aged.

Ling Xi’s broken soul didn’t bind that single ray of immortal soul (Chen Xi). Instead, it continued to fall.

Nan Zhi’s recalling soul spell caused every corner of the six realms to brighten with starlight. Some sparkles floated over and entered Ling Xi’s body. And, Ling Xi’s soul fell like a snowflake and floated into a shiny silver mirror.

Nan Zhi seemed like he went mad. He couldn’t care about Ling Xi’s body and chased after the soul.

Whoever blocked him, he would kill. Whoever hindered him, he would wipe him from existence.

I cried out from delight!

Who let that old man lie? Let him eat his own fruit! Serve him right to have his whole sect go die with Ling Xi!

  • Eat one’s own fruit: suffer the consequences of one’s own action

I excitedly flapped my wings and went down the mountain and told Shiying this stirring news. Shiying sighed heavily, “What use does it have to kill so many people? Ling Xi won’t come back.”

These were the two people I got to know ever since I got my spiritual intellect and the only love I have witnessed, but it ended in such tragedy. Shiying sighed. I also felt some sorrow.

Originally, I wanted to bid my goodbye to Shiying and leave this place of sorrow at the Eastern Sea, but unexpectedly, I saw Nan Zhi come back the next day with Ling Xi’s corpse.

He put her head on his lap like in the past as if she was sleeping.

She didn’t move, neither did he.

Like this, the sun rose, set, set and rose. Today, was the seventh day.

I looked at their backs that were lit up with the morning sun. I didn’t know by whose emotions I was affected with. A deep sorrow entered my heart.

I didn’t know at that time that one day Ling Xi would come back. At that time, I thought that the story would end here. That could also be considered a beautiful ending. However, the reality was not like that.

It was just that “love” can only be summarized with the one word “hurt”.


TLNote: The one that Nan Zhi had wanted to save had always been Ling Xi. Ling Xi misunderstood because of the illusion and the painting. She didn’t dare to question Nan Zhi and Nan Zhi was someone of few words. A misunderstanding was created like this. I feel that if Ling Xi didn’t summon all her spiritual energy to her eyes when Nan Zhi was about to cast the spell, she may have heard him say, “Ling Xi, you must come back.” Then, what will happen later in the story may not have happened.

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Dreamer

View Comments

    • It will be explained later on. There are still seven chapters, an epilogue and 2 specials

      • I hope all questions will be resolved. Like who was her brother, did he die? Why the lotus sea she created turned into dust? Her first shifu is really dead with his soul impossible to assemble again? And others.

  • Okaaaaaay..... I've reached here. I saw it was tagged with tragedy so I read backwards so as not to get so surprised and attached that I'll be sooo hurt by the story. But this is one story that is so confusing, mainly because the Ling Xi is confused or should I say, she has misunderstood what was really happening. Still l, I'm sooo hooked. So I re-read it properly from chapter 1. Thanks for translating this! I just have some questions and I'm wondering if it will be answered in the later chapters or if I just missed the answers from the previous chapters. My question is that, did Nan Zhi actually love Chen Xi before? Did he really have some sort of romantic relationship with her in the past? If you would be patient to answer me, I'd really be super thankful.

    • NZ himself had never mentioned how much he loved CX or that he had ever loved her. It was always the others who said that they were supposedly so much in love that he was willing to seal the god realm for her.

      My own interpretation is that he doesn't love her like a lover but more like family. That is the feeling he gave me. If he had loved her so much like what the others said, when he got back his memories, he would've went to the Eastern Sea to look for her. If it wasn't because she was in LX's purse of tail feathers, I think he would've forgotten about her.

  • Hmm... I really like our insights on this. I think you're right. It totally gives off a different vibe when he's with Ling Xi. And in the 2nd special chapter, the heavenly empress just wanted to find fault with him and her original undistorted observation was that Nan Zhi was followed by a demoness and not that Nan Zhi seemed to favor a demoness. Maybe Nan Zhi being in love with a demoness was just a product of slander by the empress. I'm hoping for that.
    Ooh... Nan Zhi and his few words... It's frustating but it makes it also interesting because we can discuss a lot about it. I like how the author doesn't reveal everything in one go and keeps us hanging for more. Though I wish she'd give more of Nan zhis pov. But I got enough of his povs to tell that he really love Ling xin. A lot.

    Tha KS again!

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