Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thanks To a Moment of Impulse Chapter 1

I’ll be translating Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thanks To a Moment of Impulse. I’ve always wanted to translate a Chinese book but because of my limited knowledge of Chinese characters, I haven’t given it a try. I was bored and didn’t want to write The emperor’s wife, so I was searching for books to read. I came upon Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thank To a Moment of Impulse.
I decided to translate it. I’ll be reading this book and hopefully translate it correctly.

Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thank To a Moment of Impulse wasn’t my first choice because I wanted to translate Invitation of Flowers. Since this one is a audiobook I thought I can try translating it as my first book, since my listening skills are way better than reading skills. But on the site I can only listen till chapter 8 for free (I’m a poor student). So I dropped this project and decided on SULATTAMOI instead. A pity, because I was really hooked on this book. I’ll translate the intro.

Invitation of Flowers intro
If a weak beauty meets a bad boy, there’ll always be a row of guys wanting to console the beauty.

If a well behaved lady is abandoned and cause a ruckus, it’s not something unusual.

If a noble lady with power and money, whom no one wants, which guy is so dumb (to not want such a lady)?

A pity that in this world there’s not so many ifs.

She isn’t a weak beauty, is not well behaved and definitely not a noble lady. She’s a robber.

Who would dare to dump a robber? Doesn’t he want to live anymore?

“What?! You have a reason? Wait; let me go make my blade sharper. It’s been a long time since I’ve slayed somebody. My hands are all rusty now.”

So this was the intro from the audio. If you listen it in Chinese it’s really funny. Now we’ll go to SULATTAMOI. I’ll be translating from chapter 1. You can read the prologue on hamster’s blog.

Chapter 1

I could still remember saying to the bastard before we fought, “I’ll make your life become like dark clouds.”

Recalling this now, what I had said was too one-sided.

When the both of us, bruises littering our whole bodies, knelt before the Jade Emperor, he thought for a while after hearing about what we had done to the red strings. He said, “Ease of manner is to be prized. The two of you have committed a wrong, thus punishment is justifiable. You have ruined the future of lovers. I’m punishing you with seven lifetimes of fated, mutual love. This can help you two clear your resentment as well.”

“Wait.” The young man beside me risked his life and interrupted the Jade Emperor.

“You mean me and …her? This fierce…fierce woman who looks like a man—you want me to have seven lifetimes of fated love with her?”

His voice had changed; maybe he had been scared out of his wits.

I had also been scared out of my wits and could only look at the Jade Emperor in horror…

The Jade Emperor nodded in confirmation.

I felt my body fall limp. All my hope had vanished. I realize that from now on, not only would I become the young man’s dark cloud, he would also become mine. When we came together, it would be like thunderclouds.

“Xiao Xiang Zi, you’re still Yue Lao’s subordinate. In these seven lifetimes, however, you can’t contact him.”

The Jade Emperor pondered for a moment before he asked, “Tou Ta Li, are you there?”

A rough man holding an urn had yelled, “I’m here.”

The Jade Emperor stroked his long beard and said, “This matter will be handed to you.”

“Understood.”

His answer was full of energy, which made my heart beat faster. I took a deep breath and raised my head to look at the Heavenly Emperor Li. His life in heaven had made him fat.

Sensing that I had been looking at him, he had turned around. His face was brimmed with radiance, and his cheeks turned upwards when he laughed. Uncle had laughed so beautifully.

I felt my mouth tighten, my always healthy heart beat like crazy. I took another deep breath. The always-healthy me felt like I was about to die at a moment’s notice.

The Jade Emperor nodded in satisfaction. “Xiao Xiang Zi, do you still have anything left to say?”

I wanted to say that it was Yue Lao who had messed up the red strings while was drunk. If the red strings were messed up, then let them be messed up. There was no need to punish me in such a vicious way!

I glanced at Yue Lao, and he gazed at me pitifully, as if pleading me to not expose him. I turned back around and continued taking deep breaths.

“May I curse?”

“No.”

“Then…I have nothing to say.”

The Jade Emperor nodded in satisfaction and turned to the young man. “Celestial Star Chu Kong, do you have anything left to say?”

Chu Kong…So the young man was the Mao Celestial Star.

• 卯日星君府 (mao ri xing jun fu, I have no idea what it is. Google translate said May God, but on hamster’s blog it was celestial star. I’ll keep hamster’s translation).

Amongst the twelve Celestial Stars, he is the oldest. He looked after the first month of the year. I finally learned the identity of the young man who would spend seven lifetimes with me.

I looked up at the ceiling then and thought that this world was truly ironic.

The young man beside me stayed silent for a long time, until my curious eyes had fallen on his face. He said with a straight and pale face, “Although it is our fault for the red strings had been messed up in Yue Lao’s house this time, I swear on the God of the Day that this woman messed up more red strings than I. Therefore, can you let this woman suffer a little more every lifetime?”

I stood up and wanted to pick a fight with him again. Heavenly Emperor Li came to my side and pressed me down.

He said calmly, “I will look at this matter fairly.”

Although Heavenly Emperor Li’s figure had gotten out of shape, his temperament had still been the same. I nodded gratefully, feeling that there was still love in this world.

When the sentence was over, everyone had returned to their place. All across the temple, I had heard Heavenly Emperor Li’s laugh, “I love seeing the little wife chasing the husband, hahahaha!”

I had stood there, slowly turning into a lonely shadow.

Yue Lao brought me back to the underworld. He patted my shoulder and sighed, “Xiao Xiang…”

I glared at him until he didn’t dare to say the words he was about to say. He sighed again. “No one will look after the temple now that you’re gone. What do I do now?”

I had pouted, saying, “Drink less; that way, you can help me accumulate more virtue.”

Yue Lao pinched his beard in loneliness. I didn’t possess the heart to be mean to him. Even though he had always been stingy, had been a little confused, and had never adhered to the books, he hadn’t treated me badly. He had been unlike other fairies, who treated their own kind with beatings and harsh words.

I comforted him. “One day in heaven is one year in the mortal realm. At most, seven lifetimes will only be a year. I’ll be back soon.”

Yue Lao had shaken his head and turned around with a hunched back.

Watching his departing figure completely disappear from the underworld, I turned around and looked at the tall gate.

The Nether World. These three words on the gate had appeared to be gloomy.
I removed the wine jar from my waist, looked up at the wine spirits, and then walked to the gate.

I thought, There’s nothing to be afraid of. Just think of it as coming down to see the world.

There had been more spirits each passing day, wondering how to form a well-behaved row in front of the bridge. Six little spirits had been giving those rows a bowl of soup. The old Madam Meng had been sitting to the side, dozing off.

I randomly chose a row and entered the Nether World. It had almost been my turn to drink Madam Meng’s soup, but I still didn’t see that bastard Chu Kong.

While I was wondering if he had already reincarnated, a golden light flashed in the dark Nether World, making all the spirits dazzled.

I glanced back. The one in red, full of virtue, wasn’t that the bastard? There was also a young girl in pink by his side
Chu Kong, who had been so fierce when he was fighting with me, looked gently at the girl in pink. In the stillness of the Nether World, beside the flow of the river, I could clearly hear him say, “Ying Shi, don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. We’re both men, so Heavenly Emperor Li will not let me suffer any losses.”

“Even if it’s like that, brother Chu Kong, you need to pay attention to your safety. I heard that Yue Lao temple’s Xiao Xian Zi has a weird temper. You…you and her together, you need to be wary of her.”

I had looked up at the heaven and thought about what I had done to let this little white flower describe me in that way.

The little spirit coughed twice to remind me to take my soup. I laughed embarrassed and took the soup. I was about to drink it when I had heard Chu Kong say, “Don’t worry. Even though her temper is strange, her power and martial arts are both below mine. She can’t do anything to me.”

I narrowed my eyes and glared at the man who looked like a dog.

Chu Kong said, “Wait and see how I will handle that eunuch Xiao Xian Zi for seven lifetimes…”

The word ‘eunuch’ caused me to shake in anger, the bowl of Madam Meng’s soup shaking together with me.

Chu Kong added, “Then I’ll go count the stars at Morningstar Hall with you.”

“Count your ass…!” I roared. In front of the little spirit, I threw Madam Meng’s soup at the bastard.

The soup flung skyward while the empty bowl landed on Chu Kong’s face. He groaned, covered his face and yelled.

The eyes that I remembered from our previous encounter had finally been turned purple by me.

I retorted, “Standing there with those panda eyes and yelling rubbish, don’t you feel pain?” Chu Kong felt the pain a little later. He then looked up with eyes full of rage.

The pink-clad Ying Shi beside him kept mumbling about how her heart was pained at seeing him hurt. From her agonized expression, it felt like I had struck her instead.

I sneered. Chu Kong gritted his teeth and looked at me. I saw that a spell had been forming in his hands. It looked like he wanted to give me a deathly blow. My calm heart suddenly raced. After all, in terms of spells, mine were below Chu Kong’s.

At that exact moment, the little spirit had interjected, “You…You threw the soup! Do you want to rebel?!”

His loud voice had woken Madam Meng up. When Madam Meng moved, the atmosphere in the Nether world turned gloomier. As I am only a cloud, my legs suddenly turned weak. While I trembled, I pointed at Chu Kong. “It was him! He wants to rebel. That bastard didn’t want to drink the soup. He wanted to see what will happen if I don’t drink the soup. I was forced to do this!”

“Ah?” A deep and husky voice echoed through the Nether World, making it hard for people to breathe.

“Who doesn’t want to drink the soup that I made?”

Madam Meng stood up. She was twenty feet tall, casting a shadow in the Nether World.

When she saw the broken bowl in front of Chu Kong, she yelled, “Who dares to not drink the soup? This old lady boiled the soup all day. You bastards dare to waste all my efforts?!”

As she spoke, a huge body had quickly flown above the spirit, so fast that it was inconsistent with her weight. She landed in front of Chu Kong, scaring everyone. Even Chu Kong had a pale face.

I looked around and saw that nobody was paying attention to me, so I ran and crossed the bridge of reincarnation.
Before going into reincarnation, I looked back. I only saw the spirits running around and yelling. Madam Meng had been with Chu Kong. Chu Kong had been looking at me. His eyes were filled of hatred, wanting nothing more than to cut me into thousands of pieces.

I paused for a moment, feeling that I went a bit overboard…
Before jumping in the circle of reincarnation, I gave him a thumbs-up.

Madam Meng had pinched him, causing him to be even more embarrassed. I smacked my butt and happily walked into the circle of reincarnation.

Chu Kong will not get past without drinking the soup of oblivion. This lifetime, I’ll be born first, and I’ll still have my memory from my previous life. I’m stronger than him. In other words… Little bastard, just wait and see how you’ll die.