Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thanks To a Moment of Impulse Chapter 24

Edited by Renderedreversed
Chapter 24

Chu Kong looked like he wanted to crush me to death.

“I told you to obediently reincarnate as a male. If you didn’t struggle, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“I told you to reincarnate as a woman. Why didn’t you reincarnate as a woman, ah?!” I continued with my refutation, arguing, “If you didn’t want to take advantage of me, would we be in this state?!”

“Funny, who was the one who came up with this bad idea? You want to put all the shit (blame) on xiaoye’s head?”

“Who cares about putting shit on your head! Don’t waste the fertilizer!”

Chu Kong, furious, said: “You’re a woman! Could you be any more vulgar?”

I was also furious. “If you were like Lu Hai Kong, would I be able to speak to you so vulgarly? You still have the nerve to criticize me? As if you’re so polite!”

“A, you dare to compare yourself with me? If you were obedient like silly Xiang, would I be able to get angry at you?”

After those words had left his mouth, I was unable to keep arguing. Chu Kong also quieted. The room was silent for a long time. Finally, Chu Kong gritted his teeth, coldly harrumphed, and sat down on my bed. I was going to ignore him, but seeing a beauty sitting with her legs spread beside me was a weird and funny sight. When I looked down and saw my flat and broad chest, I let out a deep sigh. I sighed, Chu Kong also sighed. After sighing once more, I said: “Regardless of how we reincarnated, we should’ve been reborn as infants. This mess…I wasn’t even given the slightest time to adapt! What the hell is this?!”

Chu Kong turned. We shared a long look, and then nearly in unison, we both let out a low curse: “Damn that Heavenly Emperor Li!”

I scratched my head, irritated.

“What do we do now? One is a general, the other is a princess. They’re married and living in the same house. How can we draw a line like this, ah? We’re bound to run into each other at some point!”

After Chu Kong heard that, his expression slowly turned angry. He lifted an eyebrow and said: “That’s right.” Then he began to ponder, stroking his chin. “Twenty years…”

I frowned: “Yes ah, we need to protect our asses for at least twenty more years. But right after reincarnating, I nearly died! How am I supposed to survive in this place, ah?!”

Chu Kong thought for a while before he suddenly looked up at me and said: “Xiao Xiang Zi, let’s make a deal.”

After I heard his proposal, I subconsciously frowned. Every time we made a deal, the results were never within our expectations. It was Murphy’s Law: messy accidents always happened. “What do you want to do?” I asked.

“Let’s work together for a while.”

He looked like the epitome of arrogance.

“We don’t know the current situation, so let’s leave it at that for now. We can make other plans after we get to the bottom of this. “

Although he worded it generously, his expression belied his true opinion. He looked as if he was doing me a favor. I restrained my dissatisfaction and asked: “How do we work together?”

“Really stupid,” Chu Kong said, dissatisfied. He merely glanced at me.

“We need to live for twenty years in the human realm. If we want to keep our lives, there are two things that we shouldn’t touch. One is the jianghu, the second is the temple. Needless to say about the jianghu: they have bandits all over the place there, excessively spilling blood as they please. All day long, they kill without reason. It’s unsafe. As for the temple, I’d be alright, but you…”

• 江湖 (jiānghú): the world of those who knows martial arts.

He smiled. It was obviously to mock me.

“I’m afraid you wouldn’t be able to survive two months there.”

I clenched my fist.

“Playing politics is really tiring. Besides, it’s royal politics. Xiaoye doesn’t want to let that muddy water dirty myself. So, after we get to the bottom of this situation, let’s leave. Deep in the forest is a safe place. I don’t believe even Heaven can get us backstabbed there.”

I nodded and said: “Stupid. If you want to know what’s going on, then just grab someone and ask.”

He gave me a chilling smile. “Do you know what our identities are?! If we want to keep living, we can’t let someone figure us out. If we’re accused of being demons, they’ll drag us out to be burned, and then even if you cry it’ll be too late.”

“Oh really?” I asked. Then I yelled, “Enter!”

Immediately, my loyal servant pushed the door open and entered. He tossed a cautious glance at Chu Kong before he knelt on the ground.

“General.”

I nodded and commanded: “You, tell her who I am!”

The servant said seriously: “Your loyal servant answers the general. General is one of the few personally appointed by the previous emperor to protect the country. Now, everyone knows you as the Great General. At the age of fifteen, you went to battle against our enemies. At eighteen, you raided the camps with your troops. Among the people, you’re most well known for taking the head of the Xiongnu’s Prince! At age twenty-three, you defeated the Xiongnu Tribe. No one else had been able to do so in the last fifty years!”

I nodded. “Great, now you tell her what her identity is.”

He glanced at Chu Kong before looking down again. “The emperor’s sister.”

I raised an eyebrow. This was indeed a perfect marriage match: the man was brave, the woman was beautiful. A fate gifted by the heavens. So how did they become an estranged couple…? I suddenly remembered the day Chu Kong and I fought at Yue Lao Temple. We ended up botching a lot of fates with our fighting…

Cold sweat began to accumulate on my back. I coughed twice and asked: “You, speak, do I treat the princess nicely or poorly?”

My loyal servant sent me a strange look, but upon seeing my serious expression, he replied, “General treats the princess…courteously.”

Well, it seemed like this general didn’t treat the princess very well at all.

“How does the princess treat me?”

The servant was at a loss for words. It was silent for a moment, when suddenly, a girl rushed in. I remembered her: it was the girl who kept asking Chu Kong if he was well on the day he vomited blood.

The girl knelt on the ground and kowtowed three times. Then, she raised her tearful face and cried: “This slave is audacious. This slave knows her place and knows that this slave doesn’t have the right to say this. However, today General is asking such questions without a care for the princess’ face! The princess always treats General with sincerity. Heaven can be the witness! How can General not know how the princess treats General?! Normally, the princess won’t let the servants speak, but today, if this slave continues to keep silent, then the princess will be wronged for her entire life!”

My ears were waiting for her next sentence. Chu Kong was also silently watching her. The girl, upon seeing no one was about to stop her, was surprised for a moment. Then, she said, “Lady Xinyun’s stumble was not caused by the princess. Her miscarriage also wasn’t caused by the princess! Her self-directed play was to swindle General. None of this is the princess’ fault, so why does General want to punish the princess?! General only knows that Lady Xinyun was pregnant with General’s child. But does General know that the princess is also expecting General’s child?!”

A bolt of lightning hit both me and Chu Kong. The world blanked. I turned around and looked at Chu Kong. His eyes were wide, an extremely rare expression of surprise on his face. He stared at the girl kneeling on the ground. “You…you…”

The girl kept crying: “Princess! Do not continue to keep the general in the dark! This slave knows your heart is in pain, but why don’t you say anything to the general?! Why do you carry the burden alone? This is actually… Even if Princess is not thinking about yourself, you need to think about your unborn child. What wrong did he do?! And now we don’t even know if the poison has harmed the fetus. Princess really shouldn’t make it difficult for yourself!”

Chu Kong face turned paler. The two words “unborn child” and “fetus” jabbed my nerves terribly. Then my eyes fell onto Chu Kong’s belly… There was “my” child? In Chu Kong’s belly? This lifetime was ridiculously absurd.

“I…I’m…pregnant?”

Chu Kong paled and his eyes looked disorganized. He massaged his temples, trying to force himself to calm down.

“This isn’t right. Something must’ve gone wrong.”

He stood up. Chu Kong repeated that phrase over and over again as he walked towards the door. The girl kneeling on the ground was about to stand up and follow him, when he yelled, “Stop! Kneel! You’re not allowed to move!”

His mind must have been extremely confused.

“I’ll have to calm down…need to calm down.”

Actually, I wasn’t calm either. With all the new information we had just gotten, my shock wasn’t any less than that of Chu Kong’s. However, it was Chu Kong’s body that was pregnant, not mine. My unfortunate circumstance seemed much brighter at the thought.

I asked the girl kneeling on the ground: “How long has she been pregnant?”

“About three months…”

“Nonsense!” my loyal servant yelled. “Three months ago, the general wasn’t inclined to visit the mansion! How could Princess Qingling get pregnant?”

“This slave swears that every word this slave has spoken is the truth,” the girl immediately retorted. “Three months ago, there was one time when the general was drunk. He slept in the princess’ room… After discovering that she was pregnant, the princess wanted to immediately tell the general, but the general was with Lady Xinyun everyday…and the princess is a proud and arrogant person…”

I nodded and sighed in my heart. Perhaps the real princess would never have told the general. The real general also would never have known that he had a child, giving Chu Kong a big advantage…

Suddenly, I wanted to see what kind of expression Chu Kong would have when he was in labor (evil her).