The emperor's wife chapter 32

 
How could I not know why he took those concubines? Although I knew, but seeing them still made my heart feel a twinge. Is it hurt or is it admitting to the fact that an emperor will never have only one wife? No matter if he really wants it or if he really wants to keep his promise to me, for power he’ll need them. He may say that he won’t touch them, but those concubines’s fathers will pressure him after some time. Then he’ll have no choice, but to comply. It’s ironic how an emperor doesn’t even have the freedom to sleep with whoever he wants. He is no different from a prisoner. He is only living in a golden cage. No matter how beautiful the palace is, it’s still a cage.
Why do so many people want to be the emperor when they can almost do nothing? Is that seat really so tempting? I can understand, but at the same time I can’t understand. And is my seat also tempting? I think it must be. It’s like drugs. Once you have tasted it you can get away from it, even though you know it’s bad for you. The power that this seat brings must be really tempting like a drug. I must be really careful now. I can’t lose this seat yet. I’m seated at the highest seat that a woman can wish to sit on, but this seat brings much unhappiness. I really want to forsake this seat and go into hiding. But everything under the sky is Xuan Chen’s. Where can I hide?
I sat by the window. Flower petals flew into the room. It’s autumn again. I watched those petals flew. I laughed to myself. Since when did I become like this? Since when did I begin to lose my smile? Was it since the time I met Xuan Chen? Was it after the wedding? Was it when I lost Sweet Corn? Will I be able to go back to my old self? Do I want to go back to my old self? Since when did I start to think so much?
A flower petal landed on my hand through the window where I sat. I looked at it. These flowers are still the same as the year before. They are still as beautiful and unchanging. But I have changed. I don’t look at them with the same innocence anymore. So even though they haven’t changed, in my eyes they have changed.
I’ve really grown old in these past two years. It’s already been two years since that fated meeting. Sometime, I regretted ever meeting Xuan Chen. But even if I didn’t meet him, I’ll eventually become the emperor’s wife. Maybe the monk was right. I’m really fated to be his wife. But why didn’t he also predict that I’ll have such a life? If I had known, I would have run away. Who am I kidding? I’ll never be able to abandon my mother and leave her to be beheaded. Besides, my fate is already written by the Heavens. The Heaven is really cruel to me.
The night wind was cold like my heart. It entered the room and touched me. I closed the window and ordered some maids to prepare a bath. I looked carefully at them. Which one of them is a spy? Are all of them a spy? People in the palace are really great actors. They can smile at you while plotting to get rid of you.
My head hurts from all this thinking. How did Xuan Chen survive in this hell? I’m really beginning to admire him. He’s a really scary person. Someone who can live in the palace without anyone to protect him, must be someone with an impressive mind. I’m beginning to think that I don’t know him at all. Did I marry a stranger? What a question? Of course I married a stranger. We were betrothed since birth. It’s only that I knew him a little before my wedding. But that Xuan Chen wasn’t the emperor. That Xuan Chen didn’t have so many secrets. That Xuan Chen won’t sacrifice our love for power.
“What are you thinking about?”
I was so deep in thoughts that I didn’t hear him coming. I looked at him without expression. I ceased to be amazed that he can do things that ordinary people can’t, like entering the palace at night. Even more, entering the empress’ chamber without anyone noticing. Really impressive.
“Are you angry that I came without being invited?”
“Since when did you even bother about my opinion? You come and go as you like.”
“Haha, you’re right. But I still want to get your permission.”
“What permission should I give you? Permission for entering the empress’ chamber at night?”
“That would be nice. What about permission to enter your heart? ”
“Stop joking. Besides, my heart is already gone.”
“Gone to that emperor of yours? Or gone to the grave together with your child? You can’t lie really well, you know? Deep in your soul, you still love him. But it doesn’t matter. I can wait. Patience is one of my good points.”
“Yes, you’ve already been so patience; waiting so many years for the opportunity to take the throne. Why do you want to throne?”
“Because it was mine from the start. Some thieves stole it. It needs to go back to its rightful owner.”
“Do you know that it’s really difficult to sit in that seat?”
“Are you worried for me?”
“Can you be more serious?”
“I know. Seeing you, I know. Seeing how sad and unhappy you are, I know. Life in the palace must be really bad. But I still want it. Do you know why? From the beginning, I want it because it’s rightfully mine, but now I want it because if I have it I can have you.”
“What are you talking about? Stop speaking nonsense.”
“I’ve never been so serious in my life before. I’ve thought about it when you left that temple. If I escape with you, no matter where we go, he’ll still find us. Besides, if I leave with you, you’ll be treated like someone who committed adultery. You’ll be hunted down by the empress dowager’s people. The emperor won’t be able to protect you. You won’t be able to take revenge and will suffer a painful death. But if I become the emperor, I can protect you. I can take revenge for you. I’ll make all your wishes come true.”
“Yun Wen, I……”
“The emperor has arrived,” a eunuch announced.
Comments: The long waited chapter is here ^^. Hope you enjoy it.