living up to you

Living up to you Epilogue

Epilogue

Qin Ling, Jing Yan were originally two sides of the silver mirror. An ancient godly artifact.

After I issued an oath and from the moment I regained my soul, I remembered everything.

At the time, in order to save Feng Shu, I heard from Cang Qu that the silver mirror has two sides. One for gathering the soul and the other for attracting the soul. The one at Cangjia Mountain was the gathering soul side. The remaining attracting the soul side was missing.

In fact, it was not like that.

Both I and big brother could gather and attract soul.

From the moment, I got my spiritual consciousness, I was with big brother. When he gathered the soul, I attracted the soul. When I gathered the soul, he attracted the soul.

Ancient godly artifacts have extraordinary spiritual energy. Like the god clan, they have seven immortal parts and seven mortal parts. However, they couldn’t practice spells. Moreover, the energy of the silver mirror could only be used by the imperial family of the god clan.

I couldn’t remember for how long I and big brother had slept. That year, the emperor of heaven ordered me to go to the human realm to bless and protect a man.

He was Nan Zhi.

It turned out that I wasn’t only acquainted with him for a short eight to nine years.

Ever from when he was a baby, I was by his side. I walked with him the twenty years of his mortal life. I accompanied him through a century of cultivating into an immortal. I brought him back to the god realm. I have never left his side for a thousand years.

I knew about Chen Xi’s existence. She was the woman that had been by Nan Zhi’s side the longest.

I envy her.

I prayed for one day that I could also transform into a human and be with him every day.

However, I was just a mirror. Without the permission of the emperor of heaven, I can’t transform into a human form in front of him or even speak one word or make a sound.

I once had seven immortal parts and seven mortal parts and could live a long life like the heaven and earth.

When Nan Zhi was a mortal, he was attacked by demons. I protected him. One immortal part was lost. When Nan Zhi ascended from immortal, the tribulation of heaven was abnormal fierce. I suffered it in his stead. Three immortal parts and three mortal parts were lost. Nan Zhi angered the emperor and empress of heaven. He was imprisoned. At that time, I was already taken back by the emperor of heaven. I didn’t know what had happened and was worried about his safety. I secretly sneaked back to him and gave him all my spiritual energy. He summoned all the devils. The emperor of heaven was furious. I blocked a blow from the emperor of heaven for him and damaged one immortal part and one mortal part. He took the opportunity to seal the god realm.

Therefore, only two immortal parts and three mortal parts of my seven immortal parts and seven mortal parts were left.

Chen Xi wasn’t killed on the eve of the war between the god and devil. It was at the time when the god realm was sealed. She took the last fatal blow of the empress of heaven in Nan Zhi’s stead. Her soul was dispersed and scattered.

I failed to keep her soul together. I was afraid that Nan Zhi would be sad. Therefore, I followed her body.

Big brother said that I changed into the silver mirror and attempted to preserve Chen Xi’s body. As a result, all the demonic aura on her body was broken. She and I changed into babies and went into a deep sleep.

This deep sleep lasted for ten thousand years.

Ten thousand years later, I awakened with two immortal parts and three mortal parts as Ling Xi.

Until when I recalled all these past events did I understood why I would love Nan Zhi like that without any regrets.

The wind of Cangjia Mountain was so cold. Tearing the face that I felt disgust about once and once again was so painful. I hated myself, but was unable to hate him. He held me and trembled from fear. I even thought that he was crying, but I couldn’t see it and couldn’t hear it clearly.

I only heard the word “Xi”.

I used all my energy to say to him that I’m not Chen Xi. In fact, I wanted to say that I’m not Ling Xi, I’m just Jing Yan.

But I didn’t have more energy. I thought that I would sleep forever like this. Big brother had once said that as long as I still have one thread of vitality, after sleeping for many many years, we can restore our essence of life.

However, I discovered that he was casting a spell. He was burning all his cultivation to assemble Chen Xi’s soul. And, Feng Shu was taking his true element.

I thought that I would no longer feel pain. After experiencing the pain of gouging the skin, I thought that I would no longer feel pain. However, things were always beyond my expectations.

The man who held me, the man who I devoted my life to love, the man for whom I was willing to hurt myself and couldn’t bear to let him hurt even a bit, at this moment was exhausting all his cultivation for another woman.

In the past, he drove me out of that body in order to resurrect her.

Now, in order to let her have a complete soul, he was willing to give up his life.

I couldn’t help but ask myself  in the bottom of my heart, Chen Xi, how much does he love Chen Xi?

Is it more than the love I have for him?

If he continues to not resist, Feng Shu would take his true element and open the seal of the god realm. From then on, Nan Zhi would no longer exists in the heaven and earth and would completely disappear from my world.

I…couldn’t bear to let that happen.

Even if he had driven me out of that body for Chen Xi, even if he stayed at my side because he saw me as Chen Xi, even if he held me and exhausted all his cultivation for Chen Xi, I still couldn’t blame him, couldn’t hate him and couldn’t abandon him.

It hasn’t only been eight years that I loved him.

It was just that he never knew. I was just a mirror.

But I still…couldn’t bear to.

So, I assembled my life essence. With the three true elements, I charged into the seal of the god realm.

In this world, there are only three kinds of love between men and women: he loves her, she loves him; she loves him, he loves her; he loves her, she also loves him.

Those fortunate in love would be the third kind.

Unfortunately, Qing Lian, Qing Feng and I were not among them.

Qing Lian turned around early and avoided being hurt by love; Qing Feng was persistent, descended into a devil and became a demon. After six hundred years, she reentered the circle of reincarnation; I was the most foolish one. My seven immortal and seven mortal parts were completely exhausted. The body and the heart were injured without exception. In the end, the soul dispersed and scattered and eventually disappeared without a trace.

In fact, when I charged into the seal of the god realm, I didn’t know whether I would succeed.

I just didn’t want to see him die.

If I broke the seal, Feng Shu would not take his life. If I let go of the body, he would be able to have a happy ending…with Chen Xi.

I thought that that was the best ending.

When I heard the sound of the seal being shattered, I also heard my soul shatter again.

Big brother said that although we have a long life like the heaven and earth, we couldn’t squander our life recklessly. Otherwise, the heaven and earth wouldn’t tolerate me being alive.

I remembered ten thousand years ago when I was still a mirror, while I was envying Chen Xi, I once remarked: What about the long eternal life and countless of ten thousand years? What I wanted was just a few years.

However, in this long eternal life and countless of ten thousand years, the few years that I wished for, in the end… was only a wishful thinking.


TLNote: I feel that she did get her few years with Nan Zhi, it was just that at that time she didn’t know that she was Jing Yan.

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Dreamer

View Comments

  • I don't understand the sentence about the three kinds of love, what does it mean?
    I'll wait the final chapter before writing a complete review, but for the moment I can't help say that the author probably hated NZ to make him suffer so much and lose twice his lover.

    • he loves her, she loves him; she loves him, he loves her; he loves her, she also loves him.
      Eric loves Jessica, Jessica loves Brian; Jane loves Dave, Dave loves Eve; Daniel loves Ariel, Ariel also loves Daniel

  • The more I read, the sadder I get. Up to the last moment, she still has not realized that it is her that he loves. That's too sad for both of them.

  • From this epoligue shows that NZ did have special relations with ChenXi ( maybe love too?) In LX words : " I knew about Chen Xi’s existence. She was the woman that had been by Nan Zhi’s side the longest. I envy her.
    I prayed for one day that I could also transform into a human and be with him every day"..
    LX one sided love all those thousand of yrs with countless sacrifices..but sadly only as a miror..so she preserve and used CX body ?

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