These past few years had been a long and tiring journey for me. I came face to face with my insecurities in 2015, the worse year of my life. An incident happened that made me realize my weak side and I had to face it the hard way.
I’ve always had insecurities and was aware of them, but I ignored them. I was able to live lively and optimistic without care. I was that bubbly and happy person. When that incident happened, I got depressed for the first time in my life. That depression lasted for eight months. I did literally nothing in those eight months. I didn’t want to go out, meet up with friends or do anything. Every day, I just lay on my bed or watched TV. I lost myself. The worst part was that I couldn’t explain to anyone what was happening to me. I also didn’t know what was happening to me. I couldn’t talk to anyone. Finally, one day, I woke up and thought that I couldn’t continue to be like this. I tried to pick myself up, but it was easier said than done. I got out of the depression, but it had a lasting effect one me. I was no longer that bubbly and happy person and I had to face my weak points.
Before depression, I was fearless and very outgoing. After the depression, I could no longer open myself up to anyone. I couldn’t do social talks or just chat with people. I became socially awkward. I tried to fix that by trying to make new friends. One way of another, after two or three times of talking with each other, I suddenly would have nothing to talk about anymore. I don’t know how I became from an extroverted person to an introverted one. It got so bad that I couldn’t give presentation anymore in front of people without having blackouts. That bothered me so much that I went to see a psychologist. She didn’t help me much. She just told me to keep trying and try to keep engaging with people. After a while, I got tired of my fake smiles and pretending that I’m interested. Even if it is tiring, I still try to engage in small talks with people but all are meaningless.
Another insecurity of mine is my accent. I came to the Netherlands when I was fifteen and got an accent when I speak Dutch. In high school, it didn’t bother me. But when I started uni, I began to hate that accent because it makes me feel inferior. I also hate it that sometimes when I speak Dutch to people they automatically talk back in English to me. I want to roll my eyes then and ask whether I speak Dutch so badly that they can’t understand. Every time that happens, it made me want to talk less and less. Perhaps, this also contributed to me becoming socially awkward. I had tried to lose the accent but it’s impossible for me. I noticed that people who can sing can partly lose their accent. Since, I’m tone deaf, I think it’s a lost case for me. I got this from my father. He is also tone deaf and can’t speak any other language than Chinese. My mother is the one who can sing well and learn language fast. She can speak almost every language that she learned like a native. Unfortunately, I and my brother didn’t inherit that from her.
As most women, I also have insecurities about my body. The thing I don’t like about my body the most is my almost non-existent boobs. This had bothered me ever since forever. When I look at my cousins with a C and D cup (which is very big for Asians and they are not overweight, the one with a C is even underweight I think) and then I look at mine, I felt that God is really unfair. My mother also got a C cup. It seemed that I am the only one in the family who didn’t get the good genes. I used to desire a surgery but recently I seemed to have come in terms with them. I still wish for bigger ones, but I wouldn’t be bothered too much if they stay the same now.
Another thing that I don’t like about myself is my height (152cm). You can imagine how I feel between the tallest people in the world. Sometimes, I feel that because of my height and look (babyface) people don’t take me seriously. I am 25 but people still think I’m like 16 or so. I would be happy if I still look like this when I forty, but now looking too young seems to be getting in my way. However, this is the least of my problems. My biggest problem is my lack of self-confidence. I think that all my insecurities stems from my lack of confidence. I follow what others want me to do and rarely stand up for myself like today.
Today, I felt very sad because I felt so worthless again.
I had a problem with my neighbor. She always issued complains. This had been going on for more than a year already and I’m on the verge of being evicted. In the contract, it stipulates that I couldn’t cause a disturbance to the neighbors. One of her complaints was that I put uncooked food in my garden which is half-true. I only put sacks of potatoes in my garden. Today, I called the man in charge of our case. He is like the middle-man. He told me that she had complained that I put food in my garden and that I shouldn’t do it anymore. At that moment, I agreed to not do it anymore. However, when I thought about it afterwards and with my parents scolding, it is MY Garden. Why did she have a say in what I put in my garden? This affected me badly, because it didn’t only happen once. It happened many times. I’m not quick-witted at all.
I don’t know what happens to me when I talk to people of higher superiority than me. It’s like there is a mental block. I can’t think at all and my mind is usually blank at such times. I usually come to better answers after the fact which is usually too late. It happened so often that I often get scolded by my parents for it. After getting scolded, I will usually torment myself with self-hate. I hate myself for not having inherited the quick-wittiness of my mom and the cleverness of my father. Sometimes, I think that perhaps because my mom is too quick-witted that I had become like this. She used to take care of everything and won almost every verbal battle. She took care of us so well that I became kinda useless. However, it is just a thought because my little brother who had been raised the same way is very quick-witted.
Aside from that, it’s very hard for me to say no to people and I can’t criticize people. I also hate to ask help from others. Because of this, many people take advantage me and made me do things I didn’t want to do. I think the worst is when I get scolded again. Like most Asian parents, my parents only know how to teach by scolding. However, I don’t feel like it’s working with me. When I get scolded, I feel hate for myself for being so dumb and then I began to think less of myself. The circle continues then. My school psychiatrist said that I should be more assertive. I tried, but it’s so difficult. I feel kinda like Shu Huan sometimes, but at least, she can still stand up for herself.
I’ve been thinking about when I became I like this. I think it’s when I came to the Netherlands because before, I was fearless. After we came to the Netherlands, no one spoke the language as well as me. So, I had to take care of every official matter and interpret for my parents. Because they couldn’t speak the language and sometimes, I don’t want to interpret exactly what they were saying, I got results that they didn’t want. I think perhaps my fear of speaking with someone with superiority came at that time. Now, I can’t even think anymore when speaking with someone other than my friends and family.
I have been fighting to get better, but I don’t know how. Nothing, I did helped me from going blank when speaking with someone. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. Hopefully, I’m still help-able and he can help me.
This post is just a rant, because of what had happened today. I needed something to vent my frustrations since, I can’t talk with my parents about it and my friends don’t understand the seriousness of the problem. I decided to vent myself on here because I just needed “someone” to talk to. Sometimes, I feel so alone in this world.
I think you first have to accept your personality. There are four personalities, you are the steady type. The golden retreiver. It’s important that you understand and accept who you are first. It’s not easy to change and just come in terms with it. I’m also the steady type and i super hate confrontations as i cant speak well or cant speak at all during such situations. I cant tell others off also, it is really normal with our personlity, really. You will be okay. You can gradually change and improve along the way but wont go far away from who you really are.
Believe on your self, you see a lot og bad things about yourself but there are plenty of good side also. What you need is true friends who sees that, who will also defend you when you can’t.
Lion– Column 1 This personality likes to lead. The lion is good at making decisions and is very goal-oriented. They enjoy challenges, difficult assignments, and opportunity to get better at things. Because lions are thinking of the goal, they can step on people to reach it. Lions can be very aggressive and competitive. Lions must learn not to be too bossy or to take charge in other’s affairs. > Strength: Goal-oriented, strong, direct > Weakness: Argumentative, too dictatorial > Limitation: Doesn’t understand that their direct leadership can sometimes hurt others, hard time expressing feelings Otter – Column 2 Otters are very social creature. Otter personalities love people. They enjoys being popular and influencing and motivating others. Otter can sometimes be hurt when people do not like them. Otter personalities usually have lots of friends, but not deep relationships. They love to goof-off. (They usually have messy rooms.) Otters like to hurry and finish jobs. (Jobs are not often done well.) The otter personality is like Tigger in Winnie The Pooh. > Strength: People person, open, positive > Weakness: Talks too much, too easy going > Limitation: Remembering past things they were supposed to do, follow through with discipline Golden Retriever – Column 3 Good at making friends. Very loyal. Retriever personalities do not like big changes. They look to feel safe and secure. Can be very sensitive. Very caring. Has deep relationships, but usually only a couple of close friends. Wants to be loved by everyone. Looks for appreciation. Works best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern. > Strength: helpful, calm, reassuring > Weakness: Indecisive, indifferent, unable to express emotional, too soft on other people > Limitation: Seeing the need to be more assertive, holding others accountable Beaver – Column 4 Organized. Beavers think that there is a right way to do everything and they want to do it exact that way. Beaver personalities are very creative. They desire to solve everything. Desire to take their time and do it right. Beavers do not like sudden changes. They need reassurance. > Strength: High standards, order, respect > Weakness: Unrealistic expectations of self & others, too perfect. > Limitation: Seeing the optimistic side of things, expressing flexibility
I think you are right. I’m the golden retriever. Sometimes, I try to please everyone but ended up hurting myself. I have many friends, but not close ones. I think that it is because I can’t open myself up to them. A month or so ago, I lost a good friend. She took advantage of me without me realizing it. Then, another friend pointed it out. I felt hurt because I knew her since I was twelve and thought that she was one of my best friend. I do look for appreciation, especially from my family. I’m very indecisive and indifferent. Because of that people tell me I have to express my opinion. the problem is I don’t have one. All of that led to me being so worried about my future. What kind of job can I look for without me feeling like I’m in hell? I will be graduating soon and don’t know what I want to do in life. That is also one of the reason I’m seeking help from a psychiatrist. Aside from that, I don’t know what else I can do, sigh.
I also share the same personality and its awful how I used to feel inferior about everything. Its very frustrating how and why cant I be more superior just like my mother and siblings. Younger at that.
I was frustrated how i lose every verbal fight i get into and i will dwell on it for days how I should have answered. It only takes a thought for my sister o criticise me while it will take me hours of thinking how i should tell her something in a way that wont hurt her, wherein people wont be offended. Believe me I know.
However, i was able to overcome my insecurities when i found out why am I like that. I found out that I was not inferior but thats just how my personality is, and it is normal, im not weak, im not inferior in any way, were all just different. Period.
Not all people can be lion, because world will be in a mess and riot. Everyone has their essential role. Once you accepted who you are, you understamd how to deal with other people who is different from you, understand what they generally want, you can explain your thoughts or none thereof more effectively.
Much better, which part of youself should be changed first. You start to appreciate your self better than you used to and people can understand you better than they used to.
I learned how to say no, how to be straight forward to lion, to listen and appreciate loud otter, to speak wholeheartedly to retriever who is mostly calm and a good listener, plan well with beaver.
You also find out along the way how to say no. It is easier that I though of. I’m no longer afraid to be ostracised and be left alone without someone to speak with. I can speak frankly of my thoughts than i used to. I learned not to crash with lion when they are being forceful. I learned to accept that I just can’t argue well, period. Instead, I will tell people that im not a confrontational person and I wont be moved by shouts and harsh arguments. Seek a calm person to speak my side and its calmer and my heart wont be suffocated fterwards. And I feel great. I dont have to force my self to win a fight and you dont have to push your post self also. Start with dealing with your self then deal with others the way their personily leans on.
Be straight forward to lions. Follow if you can. Tell them exactly how you feel about things and they will appreciate that more.
Listen to otter. Dont humiliate them in public. Be friendly to them and appreciate them.
G. Retriever is very easy to get along with and they like peace and quiet. They like friends. They dont want change nor fights. They usually like whatever the majority leans on. Hardly say no. Easy to cheat, etc.
Beaver, very easy to get along with. But cant be tagged in a sudden trip. Everything has to be organized and hardly want changes.
I hope you get over it soon, dear. You are doing great.
I think you first have to accept your personality. There are four personalities, you are the steady type. The golden retreiver. It’s important that you understand and accept who you are first. It’s not easy to change and just come in terms with it. I’m also the steady type and i super hate confrontations as i cant speak well or cant speak at all during such situations. I cant tell others off also, it is really normal with our personlity, really. You will be okay. You can gradually change and improve along the way but wont go far away from who you really are.
Believe on your self, you see a lot og bad things about yourself but there are plenty of good side also. What you need is true friends who sees that, who will also defend you when you can’t.
Lion– Column 1 This personality likes to lead. The lion is good at making decisions and is very goal-oriented. They enjoy challenges, difficult assignments, and opportunity to get better at things. Because lions are thinking of the goal, they can step on people to reach it. Lions can be very aggressive and competitive. Lions must learn not to be too bossy or to take charge in other’s affairs. > Strength: Goal-oriented, strong, direct > Weakness: Argumentative, too dictatorial > Limitation: Doesn’t understand that their direct leadership can sometimes hurt others, hard time expressing feelings Otter – Column 2 Otters are very social creature. Otter personalities love people. They enjoys being popular and influencing and motivating others. Otter can sometimes be hurt when people do not like them. Otter personalities usually have lots of friends, but not deep relationships. They love to goof-off. (They usually have messy rooms.) Otters like to hurry and finish jobs. (Jobs are not often done well.) The otter personality is like Tigger in Winnie The Pooh. > Strength: People person, open, positive > Weakness: Talks too much, too easy going > Limitation: Remembering past things they were supposed to do, follow through with discipline Golden Retriever – Column 3 Good at making friends. Very loyal. Retriever personalities do not like big changes. They look to feel safe and secure. Can be very sensitive. Very caring. Has deep relationships, but usually only a couple of close friends. Wants to be loved by everyone. Looks for appreciation. Works best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern. > Strength: helpful, calm, reassuring > Weakness: Indecisive, indifferent, unable to express emotional, too soft on other people > Limitation: Seeing the need to be more assertive, holding others accountable Beaver – Column 4 Organized. Beavers think that there is a right way to do everything and they want to do it exact that way. Beaver personalities are very creative. They desire to solve everything. Desire to take their time and do it right. Beavers do not like sudden changes. They need reassurance. > Strength: High standards, order, respect > Weakness: Unrealistic expectations of self & others, too perfect. > Limitation: Seeing the optimistic side of things, expressing flexibility
I think you are right. I’m the golden retriever. Sometimes, I try to please everyone but ended up hurting myself. I have many friends, but not close ones. I think that it is because I can’t open myself up to them. A month or so ago, I lost a good friend. She took advantage of me without me realizing it. Then, another friend pointed it out. I felt hurt because I knew her since I was twelve and thought that she was one of my best friend. I do look for appreciation, especially from my family. I’m very indecisive and indifferent. Because of that people tell me I have to express my opinion. the problem is I don’t have one. All of that led to me being so worried about my future. What kind of job can I look for without me feeling like I’m in hell? I will be graduating soon and don’t know what I want to do in life. That is also one of the reason I’m seeking help from a psychiatrist. Aside from that, I don’t know what else I can do, sigh.
I also share the same personality and its awful how I used to feel inferior about everything. Its very frustrating how and why cant I be more superior just like my mother and siblings. Younger at that.
I was frustrated how i lose every verbal fight i get into and i will dwell on it for days how I should have answered. It only takes a thought for my sister o criticise me while it will take me hours of thinking how i should tell her something in a way that wont hurt her, wherein people wont be offended. Believe me I know.
However, i was able to overcome my insecurities when i found out why am I like that. I found out that I was not inferior but thats just how my personality is, and it is normal, im not weak, im not inferior in any way, were all just different. Period.
Not all people can be lion, because world will be in a mess and riot. Everyone has their essential role. Once you accepted who you are, you understamd how to deal with other people who is different from you, understand what they generally want, you can explain your thoughts or none thereof more effectively.
Much better, which part of youself should be changed first. You start to appreciate your self better than you used to and people can understand you better than they used to.
I learned how to say no, how to be straight forward to lion, to listen and appreciate loud otter, to speak wholeheartedly to retriever who is mostly calm and a good listener, plan well with beaver.
You also find out along the way how to say no. It is easier that I though of. I’m no longer afraid to be ostracised and be left alone without someone to speak with. I can speak frankly of my thoughts than i used to. I learned not to crash with lion when they are being forceful. I learned to accept that I just can’t argue well, period. Instead, I will tell people that im not a confrontational person and I wont be moved by shouts and harsh arguments. Seek a calm person to speak my side and its calmer and my heart wont be suffocated fterwards. And I feel great. I dont have to force my self to win a fight and you dont have to push your post self also. Start with dealing with your self then deal with others the way their personily leans on.
Be straight forward to lions. Follow if you can. Tell them exactly how you feel about things and they will appreciate that more.
Listen to otter. Dont humiliate them in public. Be friendly to them and appreciate them.
G. Retriever is very easy to get along with and they like peace and quiet. They like friends. They dont want change nor fights. They usually like whatever the majority leans on. Hardly say no. Easy to cheat, etc.
Beaver, very easy to get along with. But cant be tagged in a sudden trip. Everything has to be organized and hardly want changes.
I hope you get over it soon, dear. You are doing great.
I am here and I have read this. Thank you for sharing and venting. Sometimes that is all we can do. Don’t give up and keep strong. 🙂
I am here and I have read this. Thank you for sharing and venting. Sometimes that is all we can do. Don’t give up and keep strong. 🙂
I am glad you felt comfortable to rant on your blog to let off some of the pressure as opposed to keeping entirely bottled up inside yourself.
Your struggles are real and difficult amidst naviagting through life with family, friends/peers, neighbours, culture (including clashes) and so much more which makes inner healing all the harder.
Please don’t give up (which is hard when it hurts and saddens so very much) and yes, that awful neighbour lady is too nosy for caring about your garden/yard (plus a sack of potatoes shouldn’t be a big deal unless it managed to attract unsavoury animals/pests).
I struggle too and wish there were answers to the hardships and suffering feelings but finding them seems to be a unique challenge for each of us. There are many mean or indifferent souls out there, but also kind and generous ones. Many days I feel the urge to give up trying/caring, but deep down I do have love for my family which makes/drives me to try again/some more. I have both anxiety and depression (plus related emotional trauma issues) from things/events that may seem innocuous to another person but deeply affect(ed)/impacted or harmed me (and over extended time or growing up)…. Sometimes it makes little difference to me that I am not alone in suffering, but also at times it helps knowing that others grasp the inner ordeal and turmoil that often has muddled sources/causes but trigger the current/immediate reaction and responses….. So the cliché you’re not alone but doesn’t mean I know/fully grasp what your facing, yet I genuinely empathise and sympathise deeply. Some people have natural resilience (maybe your momma and little bro), but most of the times I have/had been faking resilience/capability/cheeriness as it is what is expected of me to be like rather than a reflection of my authentic/genuine mood/feelings (not just expressing commom courtesy/manners, but appearing happy to hide or repress sadness/frustrations to avoid facing some truths) …. This self-pushing and mask wearing really tires me out and makes my heart weary of life day-by-day, but i still hold some hope to one day to settle my heart’s pains …. There’s also a thin line (to me) of feeling relied upon (willingly/respectfully/gratefully) or being taken for granted/foregone expectation to do or act without reciprocal attention/care/appreciation for efforts yet even adding criticism for outcomes or ‘performance’ ….
Sorry for adding my own rambly rant alongside yours. I truly hope the online rant helped you feel even a marginal modicum of peace and beg that my comment does not add any vexation or trouble to your feelings/mood.
I really appreciate your blog sharing these novels I could not enjoy otherwise as an English reader with rudimentary first/native-language speaking/hearing competency. I am not so bold to claim to be your friend with so little/few interactions or personal contact/knowledge, but do hope being an online reader audience/follower can be a specialized case or extension of the scope and realm of friendship to support or comfort (hopefully) you through these means of the Internet and virtual communications/contact. I didn’t prepare my thoughts well and may have been more of an annoyance or distraction from your concerns/struggles but the intention and hope was to help ease the suffering. My own self-hate stems from many things but rationally I know it’s overboard, yet doesn’t undo how i feel or the pattern my thoughts/feelings take so i dearly hope you do/try not to beat yourself up too hard. I also feel it’s hard to find a well-matched professional for mental/emotional health and sometimes the hurdle too high to keep trying to find one whom is able to assess and then coordinate and articulate a comprehensive plan to recover/heal step-by-step rather than over-simplify or pare-down the challenges inherent to overxoming emotional and mental pain/suffering of varying types (especially within a mix of causes/sources and triggers).
I sincerely wish you well and no criticism of how you try or do go about facing everything. If you are able to keep-up translating/blogging then that’s wonderful but if you feel stepping back to gain more time or focus, I welcome you to do so as missing out on story updates is pittance compared to supporting you to fight your pain….
I dont mind your ramblings lol. Strangely, it gave me comfort that there is another person that understand what Im going through even if its not a full understanding. There had also been times that I truly wanted to give up and say fuck this world, but thinking about family and friends gave me strength again to face it. It feels like a rollercoaster. The fake mask that we wear day in day out is sometimes very tiring but there is no way not to wear it as I loathe to show my drama to other people. If we knew each other in real life, I may not have talked so much in the post😅.
I dont plan to stop translating soon as translating for me is a way of healing and de-stress. When I translate, I can stop thinking about the world and only focus on the story. That is why when I’m in a bad mood or stressed, I tend to translate more.
I also wish you well and hope that you can fight your problems better than how I fight mine
I am glad you felt comfortable to rant on your blog to let off some of the pressure as opposed to keeping entirely bottled up inside yourself.
Your struggles are real and difficult amidst naviagting through life with family, friends/peers, neighbours, culture (including clashes) and so much more which makes inner healing all the harder.
Please don’t give up (which is hard when it hurts and saddens so very much) and yes, that awful neighbour lady is too nosy for caring about your garden/yard (plus a sack of potatoes shouldn’t be a big deal unless it managed to attract unsavoury animals/pests).
I struggle too and wish there were answers to the hardships and suffering feelings but finding them seems to be a unique challenge for each of us. There are many mean or indifferent souls out there, but also kind and generous ones. Many days I feel the urge to give up trying/caring, but deep down I do have love for my family which makes/drives me to try again/some more. I have both anxiety and depression (plus related emotional trauma issues) from things/events that may seem innocuous to another person but deeply affect(ed)/impacted or harmed me (and over extended time or growing up)…. Sometimes it makes little difference to me that I am not alone in suffering, but also at times it helps knowing that others grasp the inner ordeal and turmoil that often has muddled sources/causes but trigger the current/immediate reaction and responses….. So the cliché you’re not alone but doesn’t mean I know/fully grasp what your facing, yet I genuinely empathise and sympathise deeply. Some people have natural resilience (maybe your momma and little bro), but most of the times I have/had been faking resilience/capability/cheeriness as it is what is expected of me to be like rather than a reflection of my authentic/genuine mood/feelings (not just expressing commom courtesy/manners, but appearing happy to hide or repress sadness/frustrations to avoid facing some truths) …. This self-pushing and mask wearing really tires me out and makes my heart weary of life day-by-day, but i still hold some hope to one day to settle my heart’s pains …. There’s also a thin line (to me) of feeling relied upon (willingly/respectfully/gratefully) or being taken for granted/foregone expectation to do or act without reciprocal attention/care/appreciation for efforts yet even adding criticism for outcomes or ‘performance’ ….
Sorry for adding my own rambly rant alongside yours. I truly hope the online rant helped you feel even a marginal modicum of peace and beg that my comment does not add any vexation or trouble to your feelings/mood.
I really appreciate your blog sharing these novels I could not enjoy otherwise as an English reader with rudimentary first/native-language speaking/hearing competency. I am not so bold to claim to be your friend with so little/few interactions or personal contact/knowledge, but do hope being an online reader audience/follower can be a specialized case or extension of the scope and realm of friendship to support or comfort (hopefully) you through these means of the Internet and virtual communications/contact. I didn’t prepare my thoughts well and may have been more of an annoyance or distraction from your concerns/struggles but the intention and hope was to help ease the suffering. My own self-hate stems from many things but rationally I know it’s overboard, yet doesn’t undo how i feel or the pattern my thoughts/feelings take so i dearly hope you do/try not to beat yourself up too hard. I also feel it’s hard to find a well-matched professional for mental/emotional health and sometimes the hurdle too high to keep trying to find one whom is able to assess and then coordinate and articulate a comprehensive plan to recover/heal step-by-step rather than over-simplify or pare-down the challenges inherent to overxoming emotional and mental pain/suffering of varying types (especially within a mix of causes/sources and triggers).
I sincerely wish you well and no criticism of how you try or do go about facing everything. If you are able to keep-up translating/blogging then that’s wonderful but if you feel stepping back to gain more time or focus, I welcome you to do so as missing out on story updates is pittance compared to supporting you to fight your pain….
I dont mind your ramblings lol. Strangely, it gave me comfort that there is another person that understand what Im going through even if its not a full understanding. There had also been times that I truly wanted to give up and say fuck this world, but thinking about family and friends gave me strength again to face it. It feels like a rollercoaster. The fake mask that we wear day in day out is sometimes very tiring but there is no way not to wear it as I loathe to show my drama to other people. If we knew each other in real life, I may not have talked so much in the post😅.
I dont plan to stop translating soon as translating for me is a way of healing and de-stress. When I translate, I can stop thinking about the world and only focus on the story. That is why when I’m in a bad mood or stressed, I tend to translate more.
I also wish you well and hope that you can fight your problems better than how I fight mine
Hello! I wanted to let you know that I read your entire post & also, the comments left by fellow readers. I hope that this helps in making you feel that you are not alone. Please take care.
Thank you
Hello! I wanted to let you know that I read your entire post & also, the comments left by fellow readers. I hope that this helps in making you feel that you are not alone. Please take care.
Thank you
I am almost 40 and I still have issues responding in the moment to authority figures. Thanks for sharing your struggles with us.
I am almost 40 and I still have issues responding in the moment to authority figures. Thanks for sharing your struggles with us.
Hi there,
Stay strong and learn to love who you are. It is ok to feel insecure and confused at times . I am petite in size liked you 152cm and flat chested. I have always been the shortest at school, at uni, and in the workplace. Our external appearance don’t define who we really are. Find the small things that makes you happy and find enjoyment in it. Reading your post you clearly have a lot of key strengths. Don’t worry too much on how people perceive you. Things will eventually work out by itself. It is a matter of timing. Take the time you need to get through this.
I think it is great that you are multilingual and can help your parents translate. Keep up the grear work you are doing in maintaining this blog!
I would recommend you to do some mindfulness or mediation activities. Helps you relax your mind. Put on a pair of running shoes and go for a good walk each day.
You will get thru this down period.
Cheers,
Jenny
Hi there,
Stay strong and learn to love who you are. It is ok to feel insecure and confused at times . I am petite in size liked you 152cm and flat chested. I have always been the shortest at school, at uni, and in the workplace. Our external appearance don’t define who we really are. Find the small things that makes you happy and find enjoyment in it. Reading your post you clearly have a lot of key strengths. Don’t worry too much on how people perceive you. Things will eventually work out by itself. It is a matter of timing. Take the time you need to get through this.
I think it is great that you are multilingual and can help your parents translate. Keep up the grear work you are doing in maintaining this blog!
I would recommend you to do some mindfulness or mediation activities. Helps you relax your mind. Put on a pair of running shoes and go for a good walk each day.
You will get thru this down period.
Cheers,
Jenny