Happy new year to all of you. May this be great year. Not so happy time for Ning Er š
If he was surprised he didnāt let it show.
āGreetings to the emperor, ā said the servants. I couldn’t say anything.
āYou may stand up . Let the empress come in.ā
āXuan Chen.ā
He clapped.
āYouāre a really good performer. Did you enjoy making a fool out of me?ā
āWhat are you talking about?ā
āLike father, like daughter. You wanted to be the empress so badly to seduce me? Now that youāve gotten it, are you happy?ā
āI wouldnāt do that. I didnāt know who you were.ā
He grabbed me and began kissing me while taking my clothes off. But it was violent without a trace of love. I pushed him away. I looked at him pleadingly but he only gave me that smirk. The horrible smirk that I hated.
āLike I believe you. Chen Meng You? Haha, looks like Iāve really been fooled. Listen very well, Li An Ning, donāt ever think about getting with a child. Iāll rather sleep with the pigs than with you. Youāll be my wife only in name. Iāll let you rot in the cold palace if I can. But since youāve got a powerful fatherās backing you up, Iāll let you stay as the empress.ā
He sat on his seat, looking mockingly at me. I prayed for my tears not to fall. I clenched my fist. No matter what I say, he wonāt believe me. I bowed to him and returned to my room.
When I was back in my room I sent everyone out and cried silent tears. There werenāt many times in my life that I cried. The first time I cried was because of him, the second time is also because of him and now the third time is because of him again. Heās the emperor. I still canāt believe it. Is fate playing with us? How do I live from now on? I thought that I can live well if we donāt love each other. But heās Xuan Chen. And he hates me. I cried myself to sleep.
The next day Lian Er finally arrived. I really missed her. She couldnāt believe her ears when I told her Xuan Chen is the emperor. She told me it is fate. I only laughed.
I went to pay respect to the empress dowager. All went well, except that I needed to see Consort De. We were talking when he arrived.
āThis son greets empress motherā
He sat beside me. I ignored him.
āHowās the wedding life?ā
āBetter than I imagined.ā
āYou know that this empress mother wants a grandchild. Donāt make me wait too long.ā
āIāll do my best.ā
He smiled at me. I canāt figure him out. But this smile is without a trace of affection. I sat there silently, praying for this to end soon. I want to hide in my room and never see him again. Iām becoming like the me in the past again. When we could go I waited for him to go first. He grabbed my hand.
āWe need to pretend to be a loving couple, ā he whispered in my ear.
Then Consort De took his other hand. He smiled at her with affection. I looked away. He took her as consort, he must love her. Beside I anticipated this. Which emperor doesnāt have many women? Iām no fool to think that heāll love only me.
Consort De kept chatting and chatting. They laughed. I felt like a third side wheel. Why is the way to my room so long?
āThis wife will take my leave first.”
āDid zhen say you can go?ā
- Zhen: I, used by the emperor
What does he want now?
āDoes emperor still need something from this wife?ā
He seems to be contemplating something but then he waved his hands for me to go. I retreated to my palace. Such a big and extravagant palace. Fitted for the empress but not fitted for the simple An Ning. Suddenly I miss Yun Wenās place. Iāll probably never see them again.
Months have passed since the wedding. Not once did he seek me out. We only see each other at special occasions. By now everyone must know Iām not favored. Iām still wondering why my father hasnāt sought me out to reprimand me. I spent my days in The Palace of Earthly Tranquility. I donāt dare to go to The Palace of Heavenly Purity. Iām afraid to see Xuan Chen. In fact I want to escape from all of this.
I spent my days playing the Pippa, playing the Guinn and tending flowers. I really got nothing to do. What do empresses before me do? The power of the Inner Court is still in the hands of the empress dowager. She said that sheāll teach me in time how to manage the Inner Court. I know itās just an excuse to stay in power. Since I donāt want more problems Iāll let her be. All I need to do is pay respect to her every morning and see that annoying face of Consort De. Sometimes Xuan Chen will come. Those were the times that I got to see him. My heart beats faster every time I hear, “the emperor has arrived”.
Every time, he ignored me. It was like a knife just pierced in my already broken heart. I tried to be nonchalant. Iāll die before I admit that I miss him.
One day I felt sick. I think itās because Iām home sick. Suddenly my home feels like a nicer place than this cold place. While I was sick I felt a warm big hand on my forehead. When I opened my eyes I saw Xuan Chen. I must still be delirious from the medicine. Xuan Chen will be happy if I died. I closed my eyes again to keep the image of him in my head.
āXuan Chen, I want to go home.ā
I didnāt know I said it out aloud. A tear falls through my closed eye.
āDonāt go. Zhen really miss you. Stay by my side.ā
I felt him kiss me tenderly on the lips before I felt asleep.
Pipa (ēµē¶) ā pear-shaped fretted lute with 4 or 5 strings
Guqin (å¤ē“) ā 7-stringed zither
the last part made me cry T-T , poor ning er, he still loves her but he has to get rid of her father so it’s easier to ignore so that they won’t hate each other more…
but he was so cold and an ass to her, even pretending to love consort de although he doesn’t even likes her anymore, how hurt ning er must be…
if he really wanted to distance himself from her, he shoulnd’nt have visited her, it’s giving her hope, he even said that he wanted to keep her at this cold place where she has to suffer so much, ignoring her wish to return to her cold home, so selfish…
argh although I know it’s a plot to get rid of her father, I start to dislike him because he tortures our ning er so much…
Aww I can’t wait till the new chapter
xiexie, jia you! \^_^/
Awww I am sad for Ning Er but I really really really like this chapter. I want her to be happy! I hope the Emperor will allow him to go home and see her brother. She loves her brother so she may be happy to see him. My heart hurt for her. She is powerless, friendless and loveless. That is so painful!
Happy new year! Thank you for the post!
Although this chapter is sad but the story is getting better and better. Cant wait to read the next chapter and see how they will resolve the misunderstanding.
It hurts to know they end up like this, I feel sorry for the empress
I love your story so much that I had to stay up late just to read all of the chapters. I feel so sorry for Ning Er. š She doesn’t deserve this. If I could, I’d beat Xuan Chen, Emperor or not.
Please don’t make Ning Er forgive him too easily, let Xuan Chen suffer. I don’t care for how long just don’t make it too short. Let Xuan Chen make up all of his harsh treatments to Ning Er then he can be forgiven.
I’ve read books that where the main female lead always, like always, forgive the one that she loves so easily after what they’ve done to her. Then they happily ever after. No, just no. If I were to forgive someone, I wouldn’t be so easily to give them that. I’d make them to actually feel more worth it to be forgiven. They have to make up for it, hard.
Lol Sorry for the ranting, I just feel the need to let it all out. I’m so mad with Xuan Chen right now, and even disappointed. WAKE UP DEAR EMPEROR! WAKE THE EFFIN’ UP. Come to your bloody senses before I knock your head so hard that it will bruise.(Not that I could even if I wanted to but whatever)
And lastly, BIG THUMBS UP FOR THIS AMAZING CHAPTER! š
I’m sorry to say that she’ll forgive him in the next two chapters because this is only a simple misunderstanding. Xuan Chen’s real suffering will come in later chapters.
Thank you for the hard work! This story is really good. So the next two chapters are already written. Do you have an upload scheme? Like every Monday an upload?
I dont have an upload scheme. I write the chapters and my friend check the grammar errors, then i upload it. so it depends on when my friend send me the chapters back.
[…] Chapter 13 […]
I hate hate hate this chapter!!! So so sad š I cry so much when she said she wanted to go home ;n; I hope Ning er gets better and have a better life in the inner palace!!!